Being in love is a wonderful, glorious journey that brings together two people in an explosion of passion. OK, that’s a little dramatic, but sometimes, you’re lucky enough to find a soul that grooves with your own. Your relationship with your partner is unique; two separate, independent people who somehow flow together. But sometimes there’s a break in that flow — relationships take work, and it’s not always easy. Luckily, there are some simple things you can do to make your partner melt. Little, simple ways of showing your partner love help them understand how you feel about them and illustrate just how committed you are to your relationship.
There are plenty of overdone, washed out ways to make your partner feel safe and secure, but the smallest, simplest gestures are often the most noteworthy. Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and host of The Kurre and Klapow Show, previously told Elite Daily, "The more we can 'micro bond,' where we engage in small actions that keep us connected and strengthen the connection, the more effective and lasting the bigger bonding moments are." That means something as straightforward as telling your significant how important they are to you could make the biggest difference.
Here are some other suggestions.
1. Compliment them.
Complimenting your partner doesn’t just mean appreciating their physical appearance. If you do notice a haircut or new piece of clothing, it’s fine to acknowledge it. But also make it a point to compliment things like your SO’s work ethic, the way they handled a situation, or even a funny text they sent. Melissa Diamond, host of the dating podcast He Said What, says, “When you care about someone, it is an amazing feeling knowing that you help make them feel good about themselves.”
2. Take their opinion into consideration.
If you consider your partner’s advice (and even take it) as opposed to listening and then completely disregarding what they say, it’ll go a long way. This is a huge part of overall communication in a relationship. “Finding the right fit with the way you communicate and the way they communicate is critical,” Dr. Klapow previously told Elite Daily. “This is not a test where one person is necessarily 'right' and the other is 'wrong,' but rather it is a mutual understanding of what works best for each of you and between you in the relationship.”
3. Hold their hand.
It’s a small gesture, but physical connection can make a big difference in a relationship. Dr. Klapow previously told Elite Daily, the “connecting of hands is really, as humans, our first line of intimate touch. He says, “Holding hands is that front line of communicating emotions physically.”
4. Tell them how much you care about them.
At first, it may seem like telling your partner you care is too simple to mean anything. But that’s not always the case — a little bit can go a long way. "It's important to do little things in a relationship — it is those caring behaviors that can make all the difference in showing consistent thought and love," Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin MS, LCPC, Certified Imago Therapist and co-founder of The Marriage Restoration Project, previously told Elite Daily. Reaffirming how much you care about your partner may help them feel more secure.
5. Do little things for them.
Whether it’s getting them their favorite drink from the kitchen or helping out with grocery shopping, showing your partner you love them by helping them in small ways is always a win. Dr. Klapow previously told Elite Daily, “The trick is to simply show [your partner] what they can do versus what they are not doing.” Something simple like bringing you your coffee "makes you feel loved and cared for."
6. Don’t be afraid to be “emotional.”
No one is saying you should break down and cry all the time, but talking about how you’re feeling will show your partner you trust them with your feelings. Connell Barrett, Dating Transformation founder and executive dating coach, previously told Elite Daily, “It’s important to be open because emotional openness gives your partner something they need: certainty.”
7. Tell them stories from your childhood.
Telling your partner about your past will bring them into a world very few have access to. Letting them in will let your SO know they have your trust, inherently making your relationship deeper and stronger. Diamond says, “When you let your SO into different parts of your life, like your childhood, you are letting them get to know another part of you and allowing them to connect with you on a deeper level.”
8. Suggest a phoneless dinner date.
Dates are great... until you realize you’re scrolling on your Instagram feed and you and your partner haven’t spoken in 15 minutes. Suggest a date without your phones, so you can have some real quality time. Celeste Headlee, communication expert and author of We Need To Talk: How To Have Conversations That Matter, previously told Elite Daily, “You'll enjoy the date more if the phone isn't part of your relationship.” Headlee says the phone is distracting, both to you and to the person you’re with. “You might experience withdrawals at first, but you'll get over it and be able to focus on your date."
9. Ask them how their day was.
Checking in with your partner about how their day was is really sweet. “When you ask questions, especially about your SO’s day, it shows you care. Understanding the small details about their day or a story helps strengthen the relationship and get a deeper understanding of them as a person,” Diamond says. Did they have a good meeting at work? Did they follow up with their friend about the date they went on? These questions let your partner know you want to know everything they’ve got going on.
10. Suggest a new show to watch together.
It may not be an extravagant dinner date, but spending quality time with your SO at home is just as good, if not better. Andrea Amour, founder and dating coach at UpDate Coaching, previously told Elite Daily, “Grab a blanket and watch something you both love. This is particularly true for people with physical [touch] love language, who need to feel physically connected to their partner each day.”
11. Tell them they’re your best friend.
“Nothing is better than dating your best friend,” Diamond says. If you don’t feel like your partner is your best friend, though, that doesn’t mean you’re headed to splitsville. People need friends separate from their partners, and having one person play both roles isn’t necessary. If your SO is your best friend, though, tell them. It’ll make them feel like you can tell each other anything. Diamond says, “Best friends want to go through the good and bad parts of life together. It allows you to grow together and have a strong foundation.”
12. Cook a meal together.
Cooking for your partner or ordering their favorite meal might be your first thought here, but cooking with your partner presents a fun, new experience with your SO. Diamond says cooking is “a simple task, but something that often goes overlooked as a cute couple activity. It's the effort in trying new things (or old things) that should make you feel great together and continue to bond.”
13. Introduce them to your family.
If you’re feeling ready for it, introduce your partner to your family. It will show them that you see a future together and you want them to be a part of all aspects of their life. Dr. Jess O’Reilly, host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast, previously told Elite Daily, “Your future with your partner is not only about the two of you — your friends and family are relevant to your relationship, so if you’re planning any big changes (like moving cities, moving in together), it’s wise to introduce them to the people with whom you’re closest.” Don’t put the pressure on if you’re not ready, though.
14. Speak their love language.
Love languages are important when it comes to how your partner likes to express affection. Use this to your advantage when you want to show your love back to them. For example, if your partner values quality time over receiving gifts, suggest a date night in over buying them that new jacket they’ve been eyeing. Dating and relationships expert and licensed marriage and family therapist Anita A. Chlipala previously told Elite Daily, "Partners have good intentions, but their behaviors don't always hit the mark. Target the ways your partner feels loved in order to have a more positive impact."
15. Try that new move in bed they brought up.
Sex, in general, is meaningful in a relationship. But Chlipala says, “Good sex can increase feelings of closeness, trust, and safety.” It’s also especially meaningful if you keep your partner’s wants and needs in mind while in the sheets. If they’ve brought up something in the past you haven’t gotten around to trying — and you feel comfortable with it — give it a go.
16. Leave a note for them to find.
When they’re not around, write a short note to your SO letting them know they’re on your mind or how much you love them. Stick it somewhere they can find it later, like in a backpack or in a drawer. It’s a small gesture, but something handwritten shows you really care and took the time to show it.
17. Do something you might not love, but know they do.
Even if you hate Taylor Swift, being your SO’s plus one to her concert shows your partner you’re willing to make compromises in your relationship. "Compromise is part of a healthy relationship. It can be as simple as which restaurant to go to for dinner or which movie to see," Susan Ball, self-love activist and women’s freedom coach, previously told Elite Daily. Of course, you should always make sure the compromises you make are healthy, so it’s not always one person getting the short end of the stick. But in the long run, your SO’s happiness is more important than not hearing “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” ever, ever… ever again.
18. Use the word “we” instead of “I.”
As you’re making plans for the future, say “we” instead of “I.” For example, say things like, “We should go on vacation in February” instead of “I want to go on vacation in February.” Dr. Klapow previously told Elite Daily, "As much as individuality is important, allowing your partner to be a true partner and have an influence on at least some of the decisions you make in your life is critical.” The small change in your vocabulary will help your SO see that you see your relationship is an equal partnership and you see your future with them.
19. Listen to them.
It’s that simple. Julie Spira, online dating expert and award-winning dating coach, previously told Elite Daily, "Everyone wants to be heard and understood, so it’s also more important to be a good listener than to monopolize every conversation.” Spira says that just saying, "I hear you, and appreciate that you’re sharing your thoughts and feelings with me,” will improve your communication skills.
20. Send a thoughtful text.
A surprise text from a partner that gets a little sappy may sometimes be what the doctor ordered. Spira says, “If you send a good morning text and a goodnight text to your partner, you’ll create a consistent flow in the relationship.”
21. Cuddle with them.
Sitting next to your SO while watching TV might just consist of half watching the show, half scrolling on your phone, and probably eating a snack. But making the effort to cuddle your partner could do wonders for your relationship. Sonya Schwartz, relationship expert and owner of Her Aspiration, previously told Elite Daily, “Cuddling is the easiest way to connect physically besides sex.” She says, “Kisses and caresses shared besides sex boost morale, make you feel more confident, and build trust within the couple.”
22. Give them space if they need it.
There’s no need for you and your SO to be inseparable every second of the day in order to be happily in love. In fact, lots of relationships thrive when each person is given some healthy space. Alessandra Contico, matchmaker and co-founder of Matchmakers In The City, previously told Elite Daily, "You want to keep things exciting and fresh, and if you are together all of the time, it can grow too familiar and grating.” Not giving your SO room to breathe could end up hurting you both more than helping.
23. Do a favor for one of their friends.
The Spice Girls said it best: “If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.” If one of your partner’s friends needs a helping hand, be the one who steps in. It’ll show your SO you care about everyone in their life, not just them. Plus, it’ll help build your relationship with your partner’s friends, which is important. Erica Gordon, dating expert and founder of The Babe Report, previously told Elite Daily, "Trust builds with the friends if you make the effort to build your own friendship with them so that they like you, approve of you, and want you around.”
24. Laugh with them.
Laughing with your partner might not sound important, but LOLing is actually a huge part of a healthy relationship. Barrett previously told Elite Daily, “A shared sense of humor is vital in relationships.” Barrett says wanting to laugh with our partner is “human nature. Laughing together is a powerful way to affirm our romantic bond.”
Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin MS, LCPC, Certified Imago Therapist and co-founder of The Marriage Restoration Project
Connell Barrett, executive dating coach and founder of Dating Transformation
Celeste Headlee, communication expert and author of We Need To Talk: How To Have Conversations That Matter
Andrea Amour, founder and dating coach at UpDate Coaching
Dr. Jess O’Reilly, host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast
Anita A. Chlipala, dating expert and licensed marriage and family therapist
Susan Ball, self-love activist and women’s freedom coach
Julie Spira, online dating expert and dating coach
Sonya Schwartz, relationship expert and owner of Her Aspiration
Alessandra Contico, matchmaker and co-founder of Matchmakers In The City
Erica Gordon, dating expert and founder of The Babe Report
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