Couples Who Say “We” Are Often Happier, According To A Study
You know those couples who just seem so in-sync, it's kind of annoying? The ones who finish each other's sentences and always refer to themselves as "we"? Sure, they're happy and in love, but their lives can't really be that genuinely meshed together, can they? Well, as it turns out, a study from the University of California shows that couples who say "we" are often happier. So, if you and your partner are a "we" couple, congratulations are in order, because ~science~ essentially just proved that your relationship is totally thriving.
The study, titled Meta-analytic evidence that we-talk predicts relationship and personal functioning in romantic couples (try saying that three times fast), looked at data from about 5,300 individuals (spanning 30 different studies) and discovered that there was a fairly distinct relationship between we-talk and a happy, healthy relationship, Brides reports. The 2018 study looked at relationship outcomes, relationship behaviors, mental and physical health, and health behaviors in couples who use we-talk often, and found mostly positive results.
In layman's terms, couples who engage in we-talk tend to actually be happier. Maybe it's because the we-talk implies more of a partnership, or perhaps it's due to the level of closeness it takes to be able to say "we" so often. Whatever the case, this study is definitely good news for those in relationships where "we" is common vernacular.
"Hearing yourself or a partner say these words could shift individuals' ways of thinking to be more interdependent, which could lead to a healthier relationship,” University of California psychologist and co-author of the study, Megan Robbins said, according to the New York Post.
It makes sense. And while a couple constantly saying "we" might be annoying to the people around them, it's actually quite sweet, and makes for a solid indicator of happiness and interdependence within the relationship. So, if your friends always roll their eyes when you tell them you and your partner's plans for the weekend, or that the two of you loved a movie you saw on Netflix, feel free to roll your eyes right back at them.
Additionally, the study found that "Partner use of we-talk was generally more strongly related to relationship functioning than own use," per the study. This means that couples who not only think of themselves as a team, but verbalize those thoughts into we-talk are happier — it's as simple as that. It makes sense in another way, too. When you're part of a team, and in a partnership that's truly a "we", then you're probably more likely to be focused on the other person than just yourself, the study found. You're less selfish, in a sense, and know that your partner has your back just as much as you have theirs.
There's a sense of security that comes with being a we-couple, and while others might find it annoying , there's nothing wrong with it. You're part of a healthy and happy relationship, and if you want to shout out "We are so in love!" from the rooftops (à la Monica from friends yelling, "I'm engaged!") then go for it! You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.