Relationships are more than just cute texts and romantic dinners. They take work, and anyone who has been in a relationship knows that to be true. You and your partner have to find ways to work together, grow together, and be honest with each other. It isn't always easy, but practicing open and honest communication can definitely make a huge difference in any relationship. If you and your significant other are struggling with communication, you aren't alone. Good news: There are many ways to build communication skills in your relationship. So, don't stress, because you've both got this!
"When you’re in a great relationship, it can feel easy to build communication, and [it] actually feels effortless," Julie Spira, online dating expert and award-winning dating coach, tells Elite Daily. "As your relationship continues to build, this is where you might need to make a greater effort to building communication skills, as expectations and disappointments can get in the way."
As Spira says, if you and your partner have been together for a while, you might feel those communication skills starting to fade. But don't fret — that's totally normal! Communication may be key, but if you and your partner need help building those communication skills, you've definitely come to the right place. Here are four tips for building communication.
Whatever communication issues you and your partner may struggle with, it's important to put time into the relationship in order to work on them. "To build communication skills with your partner, you need to devote time to the relationship and create rituals," Spira says.
Additionally, she adds that you and your partner should highlight the good ways in which you communicate with each other, rather than the negative. That way, you'll both feel more comfortable talking about the hard parts. "If you focus on the positive things your partner does and reinforce them, then they’ll know how to have more effective conversations with you," she explains. "For example, say, 'I love it when you call me before I go to sleep at night' or 'I love our pillow talk conversations'. This sends a message to your partner that they are effectively communicating with you and that you appreciate them."
Just like you need your partner to listen to you, you need to listen to them. "Everyone wants to be heard and understood, so it’s also more important to be a good listener than to monopolize every conversation," Spira says. "Just saying, 'I hear you, and appreciate that you’re sharing your thoughts and feelings with me' will improve your communication skills."
Remember that your partner needs your patience and support, in the same way that you need theirs.
In addition to focusing on the big aspects of you and your significant other's communication skills, look at the little things, too. "If you send a good morning text and a good night text to your partner, you’ll create a consistent flow in the relationship that builds healthy communication," Spira says. "If you say, 'Good morning handsome' or 'Hello beautiful. How’s your day going?' You’re guaranteed to put a smile on their face."
Small gestures don't necessarily take a lot of effort, but can seriously open the door for more communication down the line. And bae will likely appreciate it.
However, if something does come up, don't be afraid to talk about it. "When you see there’s a bump on the road, ask your partner if you can talk about it," Spira says. "Scheduling time for an important conversation doesn’t mean you’ll be attacking them. It shows you care and notice something is off. Often it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with stress at work or other outside issues such as family or money."
Communication doesn't have to be scary, and if you and your partner truly care for and love each other, then you'll be able to nail it in no time. Talking things out, and being open and honest with each other are a great methods when building trust in a relationship, and laying a steady foundation for the future. Remember: You deserve to be in a happy and healthy relationship, and communication only strengthens that bond.
