9 Polite Rejection Texts To Send After A First Date, So You Can Both Move On
Not all first dates are good. In fact, in my experience, most are not. It's hard to find someone you really connect with, and it's not anybody's fault if you just don't feel the chemistry on the first date (except if you're the guy who asked me how I got on RAYA, in which case, it's your fault). You may encounter a first date with someone totally nice who wants to go out again, and you just don't want to. In that case, you may want tips on polite rejection texts to send after a first date, and I got you covered.
Consider sending someone a text letting them know you don't want to go out — that way, you're not leaving anyone hanging. If someone offended you or behaved badly on a first date, it's totally OK to call them out in the rejection text (it's also totally OK not to — it's a lot of emotional labor, and you don't have to educate every person you go on a first date with). However, if you're looking to let someone down easy, there are plenty of ways to make rejection feel kinder.
Read on to find nine polite ways to let someone down easy after a first date.
1. "I Had A Great Time, But I Didn't Feel The Spark"
The "spark" is a very real thing, but it's also an easy way to explain not wanting to see someone again. You're not going to feel a spark with everyone, and it doesn't have to be personal. Just let them know you had fun, and they'll appreciate the kind words.
2. "I Don't Want To Waste Your Time..."
Starting a rejection off with this shows that you value their time. I've gone on second dates with people I had a bad feeling about, and as soon as I got on the date, I felt guilty for not only wasting my own time, but theirs, too. If you aren't interested in someone, the kindest and most respectful thing you can do is value their time by letting them know.
3. "You're So Nice, But I Don't Think We're Looking For The Same Thing"
This is a polite text that works regardless of what the two of you are looking for. On a first date, you might be sense that you're interested in a long-term relationship with them, and so this text is an effective way to end the conversation but still treat them kindly.
4. "I Think We're In Different Places In Our Lives"
Similar to the last one, you don't have to give specifics. If they seem like they want a long-term partner, and you can't imagine a second date with them, then you are in different places in your lives, and saying so is a polite way to tell them you're not interested.
5. "So Many People Would Be Lucky To Date You..."
This line might be perceived as disingenous, but if you really thought they were great, you can use it. If someone is upset that you're complimenting them in the rejection, then they likely would have been upset regardless, and there's not much you can do about that. You can be as polite as you want, but if they very much want to go out again, they may still be sad.
6. "I'm Not Sure The Chemistry Was There"
This is another great way to let them know they didn't do anything wrong, it just wasn't the perfect date for you. I've said this to people who actually did say things that turned me off on the date because I didn't want to get into the specifics, so feel free to use it liberally. No one else knows what "chemistry" means to you, so it's hard to argue with.
7. "I'm Sorry If I Gave You The Wrong Impression, But..."
Use this one only if you truly feel like you gave your date the wrong impression. You don't ever have to apologize for not wanting to go out with someone again, but if you'd like to, this can be a good one. For instance, I once felt uncomfortable on the date (not because of anything, in particular, my date did, the conversation just wasn't there), and left early but assured my date I was having a great time and wanted to go out again. I don't regret leaving early, but I did feel like I needed to apologize when he texted the next day.
8. "I'd Love To Stay In Touch — As Friends"
This is a clique line, but if you mean it, it can be a kind thing to say. Telling someone you'd like to be friends means you think they're interesting and cool, and even if the romantic energy isn't there, you'd like to continue getting to know them.
9. "It Was Really Nice To Meet You, But..."
This is simple, but do remember that the person you went out with took time out of their day to meet you, just as you did them. It's always nice to connect with other kind people, so if you thought they were a good person, let them know that you appreciated the date, even if you don't want a second one.
Letting someone down easy after a first date isn't fun, but it doesn't have to be super stressful, either. With dating apps, it can feel hard to have high hopes for every single person you date, and, for all you know, they feel the same way and they're relieved you've ended it. Even if they don't, they deserve to be with someone who is interested in dating them, so ending things kindly can be the most compassionate move, because it allows them to move on. If you met a nice person you don't want to continue dating, consider one of these nine texts to let them know politely.