Young woman sends a polite rejection text after a first date.
12 Polite Rejection Texts To Send After A First Date

Blame it on the “spark.”

by Ginny Hogan and Rachel Shatto
Originally Published: 
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Not all first dates are good. In fact, in my experience, most are not. It can be hard to find someone you really connect with, and it's nobody’s fault if you just don't feel the chemistry on the first date. If you’re looking for tips on polite rejection texts to send after a first date, or even a few rejection text message examples, I’ve got you covered.

If you want to know how to let someone down easy, consider sending them a text telling them you don't want to go out — that way, you're not leaving anyone hanging. If someone offended you or behaved badly on a first date, it's totally OK to call them out in the rejection text. (It's also totally OK not to — it's a lot of emotional labor, and you don't have to educate every person you go on a first date with.) However, if you're looking to know how to let someone down easy over text, there are plenty of ways to make rejection feel kinder.

Here are a dozen polite ways to let someone down easy after a first date.

"I Had A Great Time, But I Didn't Feel The Spark."

The "spark" is a very real thing, but it's also an easy way to explain not wanting to see someone again. You're not going to feel a spark with everyone, and it doesn't have to be personal. Just let them know you had fun, and they'll appreciate the kind words.

"I Don't Want To Waste Your Time."

Starting a rejection off with this shows you value their time. If you’ve ever gone on a second date with someone you had a bad feeling about, and then felt guilty about wasting both your and their time, you know how valuable hearing something like this can be. If you aren't interested, the most respectful thing you can do is show them you value their time by being honest.

"You're So Nice, But I Don't Think We're Looking For The Same Thing.”

This is a polite text that works regardless of what the two of you are looking for. On a first date, you might sense that you're not interested in a long-term relationship with them, so this text is an effective way to end the conversation with kindness.

"I Think We're In Different Places In Our Lives.”
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You don't have to give specifics. If they seem like they want a long-term partner, and you can't imagine a second date with them, then you are in different places in your lives, and saying so is a polite way to tell them you're not interested.

"So Many People Would Be Lucky To Date You."

This line might be perceived as disingenuous, but if you really thought they were great, you can use it. If someone is upset that you're complimenting them in the rejection, then they likely would have been upset regardless, and there's not much you can do about that. You can be as polite as you want, but if they very much want to go out again, they may still be sad. But for better or worse, your priority should be yourself, and you should never do anything you’re not comfortable with — including going on a second date with someone who really likes you.

"I'm Not Sure The Chemistry Was There."

This is another great way to let them know they didn't do anything wrong, it just wasn't the right date for you. You can also say this to people who actually do say things that turn you off on the date if you don't want to get into the specifics, so feel free to use it liberally. No one else knows what "chemistry" means to you, so it's hard to argue with.

"I'm Sorry If I Gave You The Wrong Impression, But..."

Use this one only if you truly feel like you gave your date the wrong impression. You don't ever have to apologize for not wanting to go out with someone again, but if you'd like to, this can be a good one — for instance, if you feel uncomfortable and want to leave early, but also want to offer them some kind of apology if they text you the following day.

"I'd Love To Stay In Touch As Friends."
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This is a cliché line, but if you mean it, it can be a kind thing to say. Telling someone you'd like to be friends means you think they're interesting and cool, and even if the romantic energy isn't there, you'd like to continue getting to know them.

"It Was Really Nice To Meet You, But..."

This is simple, but do remember that the person you went out with took time out of their day to meet you, just as you did them. So if you thought they were a good person, let them know that you appreciated the date, even if you don't want a second date.

“You’re So Awesome, And I Had A Great Time With You, But...”

Sometimes, no matter how nice the person is, you just don't click on a romantic level. It's not you, it's not them, it's just simply not meant to be. In that case, starting off with a compliment can help soften the blow of rejection.

“Thanks So Much For A Great Night Out. I’m Just Going To Be Honest, Because I Can Tell You're A Straight Shooter...”

Some people need a little bit of extra gentleness when it comes to being turned down, whereas others would just prefer you to be honest and straightforward. If you got the sense they're the latter type when you were on your first date, show them respect by just laying out the truth. If you don't see this going anywhere, say so clearly and politely.

“I Respect You Enough To Be Honest, & I Just Wasn’t Feeling It On Our Date.”
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Ghosting may be easier than sending someone a rejection text, but if you really liked and respected them, it's worth the extra effort not to just leave them hanging.

Letting someone down easy after a first date isn't fun, but it doesn't have to be super stressful, either. For all you know, they feel the same way and they're relieved you ended it. Even if they don't, they deserve to be with someone who is interested in dating them, so ending things kindly can be the most compassionate move because it allows them to move on. If you met a nice person you don't want to continue dating, consider one of these 12 texts to let them know politely.

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