Forget the comfort of being in a committed relationship. Contrary to popular belief, having someone to go home to every night isn't a guarantee that you're having amazing orgasms — or even having orgasms at all. Yes, having sex with someone you love (or really, really like) is wonderful. And it's something you should definitely experience at least once in your lifetime. But the same can be said for having sex while single. If you haven't had an exploratory phase in which you have the freedom to have a lot of sex exactly how you please without any strings attached (but with plenty of protection!), then it's time to try it out.
Regardless of how old you are or how long you've been single for, being unattached is honestly the best thing you can do for your sex life. Give in to your sex drive, feed your most primal urges, and make some really hot memories. When you're older (and probably wiser, too), you'll have these years to look back on fondly. Some grandparents bring up the war or walking to school in four feet of snow. You can be the old woman who is still young at heart, reminiscing about all the sex she had in her twenties. #GrandmaGoals, am I right? Anyway, here's what's so great about having sex when you're single.
Nothing compares to the joy of being a little bit selfish in bed. Yes, making another person feel good can be a major turn-on, but it can also be exhausting. If you've ever faked an orgasm just to make your partner happy, then you know what I'm talking about. When you're single, you can focus that energy solely on yourself and your needs. You can put yourself first without feeling guilty about it. Being vocal in bed and expressing to your sexual partner what you do and don't like might feel less high-stakes when you don't plan on pursuing a romantic future with them. And once you're confident expressing that to your FWB, you'll have no trouble having the same convo with a partner you have real feelings for.
When you're single, you have all the time in the world to test out all the sex toys, kinky positions, and bedroom fantasies that you've always thought about trying (but haven't yet). You can explore your sexuality on your own terms to find out what you really love — not what you compromise on because your partner is into it. Plus, you have the option to learn from more experienced partners. If you've always wanted to explore temperature play, for example, you can find someone who has done it before and ask them to engage in it with you. And if you don't end up enjoying any one experience, you can easily move on to the next item on your sexual bucket list without hurting anyone's feelings.
Swipe on dating apps, flirt at a bar, go to a singles' mixer, or attend a sex party. Because you're not tied down, you can hook up with whoever you want. As long as you're being safe, you're free to enjoy yourself any time of the day, every day of the week. And if you don't feel like having sex, that's 100 percent your call. You can sext your hookup buddy with no expectations of actually meeting up, or spend the afternoon alone with your vibrator. The world is your oyster... or your eggplant emoji. Whatever you're into.
Sometimes when you're in a monogamous relationship, the sex starts to feel routine. Once the initial spark dies out, you might feel like you're hooking up more because you both think you should, and less because you really want to have sex in that moment. When you're having sex as a single woman, you'll never be bored, because you're constantly having new experiences with different people. Try being a Samantha, even if you're usually more of a Charlotte.
No-strings-attached sex isn't for everybody, but when you take away the pressure to DTR with every person you meet, you'll likely have a lot more fun. Stop thinking about what you two "are," or wondering how they perceive you. Don't worry about what you look, smell, taste, or sound like. Just let loose and be yourself, because confidence is the single sexiest thing you can wear.
Godspeed on your sexual journey, sister.
