If You Use Ice Cubes During Sex, Take Note Of These 3 Techniques To Avoid
Fans had a lot of thoughts when Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey used ice cream as foreplay in Fifty Shades Freed, but viewers might have forgotten that the couple also experimented with ice cubes during sex in the first Fifty Shades film. It's no surprise that people are fascinated with the intersection of food and sex. They're two of the best experiences you can have, so attempts at combining them were bound to happen. That's probably why one of the most common subjects that comes up when when I tell people I write about sex is the popularity of Cosmopolitan magazine-style sex tips.
Cosmo is notorious for their tricks to spice things up in the bedroom. While their writers have a slew of awesome ideas, some people still seem hung up on their zanier tips, like eating a doughnut off a guy's penis or giving a grapefruit blow job. Maybe it's not a great idea to play with food while naked, but what about those ice cubes I mentioned earlier? Temperature play involves using cold or hot objects to arouse sensitive areas of the body, and ice cubes are an easily accessible way to achieve cool sensations. While you can definitely use ice cubes during sex, there are both safe and potentially dangerous ways to do so. Here are three techniques to avoid when using ice in the bedroom.
1. Using ice straight out of the freezer.
"Our bodies sensitivity to cold can vary wildly, but generally speaking, it's hard to tell the difference between fun shocking cold and damaging shocking cold. This is even more true on the sensitive skin around genitals or other erogenous zones," says Crista Anne, a sex educator and Advisory Council Member for the Effing Foundation for Sex Positivity. While she recognizes that temperature play can be a fun way to shake things up in the bedroom, Crista says it's important to be careful and remain aware of what is happening with your partner's body.
Before using ice on sensitive areas, Crista says to let it thaw out slightly. Set it aside in a bowl or cup for five to 10 minutes. While the ice is melting a bit, you can find a towel or get things heated up for maximum sensation shift. "Beyond safety, this will also allow the ice to slip and slide over skin. Ice sticking to sensitive areas can be damaging and painful," she adds.
2. Inserting ice internally.
In general, you should proceed with excessive caution when using ice internally. Ice should never be inserted for more than five minutes, according to Crista. "Suggestions of made-at-home ice dildos or ice being inserted anally [at all] are uses that I recommend against experimenting with. With internal ice anal play, you're running a high risk of the ice damaging delicate tissue should it slide out of reach... or existing rough edges doing damage that isn’t immediately felt because of the natural numbing from the cold," she says.
A safe alternative is to place the toy of your choice in the fridge until it's cool to the touch. Test with your fingertips to make sure it hasn't gotten too cold, and be sure to be liberal with the lubricant. The lube itself can also be cooled in the fridge for added pleasure.
3. Mistaking tingling sensations for arousal.
Frostbite is a real concern when using ice during sex. "Some people will find the cold slightly uncomfortable at first, but pain is a sign of trouble when it comes to ice play," says Crista. This is why communicating about the sensations you're both feeling is so important. A "pins and needles" sensation, burning, or stinging are all warning signs of frostbite. Visual cues mean you should stop immediately and get warm. Look out for excessive redness or even a blueish tint to the skin, which is rare, but possible. The person using the ice should also be aware of these signs, because the skin on the fingertips is sensitive as well. Keeping a washcloth in a bowl of warm water nearby is a good safety measure, according to Crista.
A more comfortable way to incorporate ice cubes into foreplay or sex is to run them lightly over lips, nipples, around earlobes, wrists, fingers, inner thighs, down the spine and lower back, and even along the bottom of a foot. "If the cube against skin is too intense of a sensation, try cooling your mouth or fingers (or both) with ice and letting your partner’s body warm them back up. You can keep going back to that bowl of ice for a quick cool down," says Crista.
As with any kind of sensation or temperature play, using ice isn't for everyone. There is nothing wrong with trying it out, and there is nothing wrong with enjoying it (or not). Just make sure to listen to your partner and pay attention to how they respond. Even if you love ice play, you should stop at the first sign of pain or excessive redness.