I know, I know. It's like just yesterday it was summer, and BOOM, now Halloween is over, and our local grocery stores are fully stocked with Pillsbury Holiday Edition Thanksgiving cookies. Where in the WORLD did all the time go? Now that Halloween has come to a close, we have to welcome the most dreaded time of all: cuffing season. As much as we'd like to chalk it up to being some sort of dumb internet fad, the fact of the matter remains that cuffing season is real. As soon as it starts to get cold, people have an uncanny ability to start finding people to get warm with.
Don't believe me? Even science says it's real. “With the shortening days of autumn, melatonin elevates in the brain — making people more sluggish and eager to lounge at home, preferably with a sweetheart,” says Dr. Helen Fisher, Match.com's chief scientific advisor. “Then testosterone rises in November triggering even more desire to snuggle with a lover. By then, 'cuffing season' is in full bloom.”
But what if you suck at the whole dating thing? What if finding someone to cuff with just doesn't seem to come as naturally to you as it does to the serial daters polluting your news feeds with endless uploads of cute pics of them and their new BAE (whom you're pretty sure they only met five minutes ago)? I'm not saying you need to become that serial dater, but if you are looking for some help in the how-to-meet-someone-and-turn-it-into-something-special department, I'm here to help, and I've brought in some reinforcements. In order to help everyone get ready for cuffing season, Match brought in Francesca Hogi, their cuffing season expert and former Survivor contestant, to offer up some tips on how to survive (hah, get it?) the ever-elusive cuffing season.
Making the first move can be nerve-racking, but Hogi insists that it's totally worth it and, realistically, the first step to finding someone special. "Don't be shy about making the first move (ladies, we're looking at you)," she explains. "If you're interested, send a message!"
I'm with her on that one. I mean, why waste time sitting around, waiting for someone to message you, when you can go make something happen for yourself.
All right, all right... before you go giving me that side eye, hear me out. I'm not saying go back to your on-again off-again ex of nine years who tore your heart out of your chest when they cheated on you with your best friend.
No, instead, Hogi suggests you go back to that "one guy you dated for a while, but it sort of fizzled out." She also suggests you "reach out and see if he's available." The timing may not have been right then, but it could be now.
OK, so let's say you tried to rekindle things with that guy, and he took four hours to text you back. Then, he rescheduled the date that you had to initiate a million times. BYE TO HIM.
Hogi advises you to "prioritize the people who prioritize you." She continues, "If you’re an option and not priority, forget it."
You can up your chances of meeting someone worthy of your time by hitting up your local sports bars, according to Hogi. You can really do this any day there's a game going on, but going to watch football on Sundays is always a fun option. Hogi suggests you "wear your favorite team's jersey to spark conversation." If all goes as planned, you'll be spending your Sundays soon enough tucked into bed with your BAE watching rom coms while you snuggle.
Take it from someone who has exhausted this technique: Playing it cool NEVER works. Saying you want something casual when that's literally the opposite of what you want just because you think that's what your crush wants to hear does nothing to help you or them.
And Hogi agrees. She says, "Be honest about wanting a relationship so you attract the right people with the same idea!"
"Don’t be shy about flirting," Hogi warns. "Let them know you’re interested upfront."
Flirting can be awkward, especially in the beginning stages, where you're still trying to gauge interest. But the fact of the matter is, if you want this to go anywhere, you're going to have to show that you're interested, and that, my friends, requires some good, old-fashioned flirting.
This one is probably the most important tip of them all. NEWSFLASH: Dating doesn't have to be miserable! You can actually have fun. So stop stressing and take some time to enjoy the process. Hogi explains, "Tons of singles are looking for someone special, so it’ll happen."
That last point there is really important. If you want a relationship, that's fine! Tons of other single people are looking for the same thing, so just have fun going out there and getting to know people until you find someone who's right for you.
Now, go forth and date wisely, my friends.
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