Too Good To Be True: 3 Signs You're Seeing A Serial Dater
In the bizarre world of romance that exists today — the “hook-up culture,” if you will -- there are three types of people: the lovers, the loners and, of course, the serial daters.
The “lovers” are exactly what you would assume they are: hopeless romantics who long for an everlasting relationship with their soul mates and who will stay involved with “the one” for months and months, or even years, without a second thought.
They need consistent companions and manipulate their lives so almost every aspect of their well-being revolves around the other person.
The “loners” are the people who don’t believe in relationships because they’re way too good to be involved with someone else while they’re working toward a career and trying to get their sh*t together.
They’re the ones who might go on a date or two every few weeks, but believe the right person will walk into their lives when they aren’t looking.
They’re comfortable with whom they’ve become and don’t feel the need to search for someone they can happily date.
And, then, there are the serial daters. The “serial daters” are the most dangerous out of the three dating types who inhabit our world of romance.
They’re the tricky ones who will sweep you off your feet with witty charm and romantic execution and then leave you bewildered when you run into them the next day at a bar with their arms wrapped around another person.
They're never left without a number to call or a person to text and pounce from one potential partner to the next, almost instantaneously.
They'll leave you shocked and sometimes hurt when you realize what an insignificant aspect of their lives you were. You were the pick of the day, maybe even the flavor of the week.
If you’re able to handle the “one and done” lifestyle of a serial dater, by all means, date away.
Maybe you’re a serial dater yourself and maybe you live for the constant flow of new sexual potentials strolling nonchalantly in and out of your life.
But, if you don’t want to succumb to the harsh reality that you’re just another notch on the belt, acknowledge these important reasons why you should steer clear of the serial daters:
1. They're all about the honeymoon phase.
Ah, the honeymoon phase: It's arguably the best stage of a relationship.
During this golden timeframe full of vulnerable excitement and uncontrollable nerves, the two of you are giddy to be around each other; you're exploding with butterflies during each and every kiss, and find yourselves falling hard and fast into love.
This is when the memories are made. You'll take the fancy dinner trips together on Friday nights, and he'll even hold the door for you.
Then, you'll go out for drinks at adorable cocktail bars and take fun trips to destinations you've both always dreamt to visit.
You'll post Instas of the two of you — hand-in-hand — every chance you get.
As expected, the honeymoon phase can become addicting and serial daters are most definitely the addicts.
In fact, they become so addicted to the honeymoon phase that they try to experience it over and over again with someone new almost every week.
They become completely enthralled with the excitement of a new kiss or a personality they've never dealt with before and crave the constant change of company.
Their attention spans are short and their uncanny ability to walk out in and out of your life without a second thought is shocking.
They need someone better; they need something new and if you aren't giving them the thrill they want, don't get too attached.
You're probably just a photo for the next page as they flip through the honeymoon album of their lives.
2. They refuse to be single.
Serial daters hate being single.
They hate the thought of being alone and they especially hate not having someone eagerly waiting by the phone to answer every text.
Why? Because they constantly have people lined up to date them. They have an assembly line of lovers waiting patiently for their names to be called.
It's almost like a monkey bar effect. Serial daters swing from prong to prong, pleasing as they go and leaving at their own will.
Being single means falling off of the monkey bars and landing face-first on the ground, bewildered and confused. They cannot be single because they don't know how to be.
Why, though? Why do serial daters loathe being alone? Is it the clichéd lack of self-esteem or plain old boredom?
It could be both.
Quite often, when people feel the need to constantly be in a relationship, they're insecure and need the ongoing confidence boost from a significant other.
Still, this kind of relationship can be very toxic, but not only to the serial dater.
Over time, the serial dater is likely to diminish your confidence and make you feel just as dependent as he or she is.
By falling victim to the ongoing need for admiration, you will begin believing you need that same amount of attention in order to be happy.
If that's the case, you need to think again. There's no reason to jump from person to person in pursuit of happiness.
Know your self-worth and understand that you don't need one person (or multiple people) constantly surrounding you and blowing sunshine up your ass.
3. They're afraid of commitment.
The biggest downfall of a serial dater is his or her ongoing fear of commitment.
Quite often, serial daters are jaded and don't believe in everlasting love, so they fill their time with temporary men or women who will fill the void of a long-term relationship.
Their constant refusal to be committed to one person stems from negative past experiences, anywhere from the way they were raised to a previous relationship, which crashed and burned before things got serious.
They may have been hurt and choose not to follow through with a long-term relationship in hopes of avoiding the toxic feelings they've conquered in the past, hence the reasons they find comfort in not staying comfortable, regardless of the feelings they may develop for someone down the road.
They don't want to deal with the heartbreak that could occur and chose to keep things light, jumping from one date to the next with no strings attached.
So, there you have it. Steer clear of the serial daters if you're searching for something serious because they're out on the prowl and ready to pounce.
Yet, if you're feeling brave and seeking a thrill, give one a chance. He or she will leave you on the edge of your seat, wondering what the next date will bring — if there even is a next date.
And, if you're feeling wary, just keep the above points in mind and stay aware of the "one and done" lifestyle these people lead.