Why is there a stigma that says we should feel less of ourselves because we would rather be in a relationship than be alone?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be coupled, wanting to give and receive love and wanting to be in a relationship. There is also nothing at all wrong with being alone.
Being alone isn't for everyone. I applaud those who would rather be alone, and who can successfully remain unmarried, without a relationship and fully content with just themselves.
I, however am not one of those people.
It has taken me many years to be able to admit that I have a want to spend my life with someone and not feel weird or needy about that want. Not anymore.
2017 is the perfect year to admit this want because I have finally taken the time to love myself first. 2016 was a rough year for everyone, seemingly everywhere.
For me, personally, it was a total reset year.
Everything I knew to be true was actually false. A bad relationship ended, friendships changed, career paths and more obstacles than any one person should ever have to hurdle were all overcome. In 2016 I found what was truly within me and for that I will always be great full.
2017 is a fresh start and a new beginning for us all. Why not start it off right by saying, "I would like to be in a real relationship, and that is OK."
You should keep in mind of course that it is ALWAYS better to be alone than with the wrong someone. Just because someone flashes an amazing smile and an engagement ring doesn't mean they are the person you should be with.
There is a big difference between admitting a healthy desire, and being a clingy or needy person who is willing to settle regardless of the personal life consequences.
With the new year upon us, why not take a few minutes to acknowledge what you need and want in your life to be happy? Why not acknowledge that nothing sounds better than curling up on the couch with a person you love, just being content in the moment?
There are many things you can do to help yourself achieve your relationship goals. The first one I recommend is spelling out a list of things that you are unwilling to budge on when a potential partner.
In my opinion, this list should not be more than a few of the most important things you do not want in a partner. This list may include things like whether or not your partner will have kids, where they might be in their career path, do the two of you have common goals and interests?
The list should not include things that are not important in the big scheme of a relationship; this list is for the most essential things I like to call non-negotiables.
My personal list of non-negotiables includes someone who wants kids. This is a deal breaker for me, as I have already had as many kids as I would like to have and I am non-negotiable on the idea of having more.
Regardless of how amazing of a relationship partner I may find, I know that more kids is simply not something I am willing to budge on.
The second thing I would recommend you to do is to truly find your center and know who you are before you enter a new relationship. Don't just jump in to achieve that "relationship status update" on social media; think about how you see you and your partner in the future and define who you are to that person.
My last suggestion is to be picky, but open minded.
Don't settle on someone out of a need. When you can look at a potential partner and tell each other 20 things you love about them as a human, as opposed to 20 things you love about spending time with them, that is when you know it is time to change your social media relationship status.
2017 is the perfect year to be honest with yourself first. Love yourself first, and love yourself more than you ever have before. Once you have achieved these goals, open yourself up to the love you want to welcome into your life in your new relationship.