If the whirlwind of a movie Valentine's Day taught me anything, it's that Valentine's Day is overrated. Like New Year's Eve (also by director Garry Marshall), the movie follows a group of people who are loosely related to each other in some way. Most are couples: One is a pair of young high-schoolers pledging to wait to have sex; another is a not-so-patient duo who gets caught before doing the deed while practicing guitar in the nude; a third is an elderly couple dealing with the heartbreak of infidelity from years past. There's even one that involves a young boy who, after learning the meaning of true love, sets out to deliver a Valentine to his elementary school teacher.
If the mere thought of those chalky, heart-shaped, pastel-colored, Valentine's Day candies makes you gag, you probably relate most to Jessica Biel's character, Kara, who spends most of the movie organizing her annual "I Hate Valentine's Day" party. Unsurprisingly, no one's Valentine's Day goes as planned and even Kara finds herself unimpressed with her own cynicism. Relationships end while others are just beginning, hearts are broken, and careers are tested — all because of Valentine's Day.
To be honest, I'm not sure why we let what seems like an otherwise arbitrary holiday ruin our lives. It's just not worth it. If you do anything on Valentine's Day, make one of these affirmations a part of your morning routine.
- It's OK to be single on Valentine's Day.
- It's OK to want to spend Valentine's Day alone even if you're not single.
- It's OK to celebrate Valentine's Day with your cat or buy Valentine's Day gifts for your dog because who really cares? No one but you, probably.
The truth is, Valentine's Day is seriously overrated and here are five reasons why.
1. Chocolate And Flowers Are Cheaper On Literally Every Other Day Except For Valentine's Day
I know this is everyone's complaint but it is a valid one. While I get the classic demand and supply economics at work here, it just seems like a personal attack against single people who want to check themselves into a sugar coma until Feb. 15. Can I live?
2. Classic, Romantic Movies Like When Harry Met Sally and Say Anything Have Given Me Unrealistic Expectations
If I don't wake up to an oversized, white bear outside my apartment door like Taylor Swift's character did in Valentine's Day, am I even worthy as a person anymore? I've seen enough romance movies from the '80s to know the answer to this and I'm not here for it.
3. Finding A Valentine Is Hard Work
I know this because I tried. I asked guys on dating apps to be my Valentine and between the guy who thought I was catfishing him and the guy who said he didn't want to buy whatever it was I was selling, I don't know how I'll ever decide.
4. It's Almost Impossible To Get A Decent Valentine's Day Dinner Reservation
Sure, you could probably make your Valentine's Day reservation ahead of time to avoid the mad rush but even if you do get in, it's still a pain. In Valentine's Day, one of the couples goes to dinner on Valentine's Day after two weeks of dating. The place is so packed that all the happy couples are seated along one long, Last Supper-esque table and Anne Hathaway's date accidentally drinks from the glass of the person sitting across from him. To make things worse, the waiter gives them two dinner options: the four-course sweethearts' menu or the eight-course eternal love. I'm sorry, what now? Too much, too soon.
5. Everyone Is Too Broke To Afford Valentine's Day Gifts
Based on my earlier economic theories, Valentine's Day is expensive... too expensive, honestly. I can spend the night at home with my dog, binge-watching the Netflix original series Love for exactly zero dollars. It's no contest.
If you need me, you can find me on my sofa, wearing sexy loungewear for myself and no one else and hate-scrolling through all of your red and pink Instagram posts for the next few days.
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