You can tell a lot about someone by how they treat you on a date. There's lots of little things they might do to win you over — like thoughtfully planning out an itinerary, remembering your favorite drink and ordering it before you arrive, or footing the bill. When it really comes down to it, however, the most important thing is that your date shows consideration for your thoughts and feelings. Sound like a dream? Then keep a lookout for these Myers-Briggs personality types who are the most respectful on dates.
There are a couple of trait preferences that can come in handy here. Intuitive Feelers (NF) have a knack for reading people, and by quickly and accurately perceiving how their date is feeling, they have a leg up in being more respectful to their needs. Sensing Judging (SJ) types, who tend to be a bit more formal in their dealings with others, value duty and responsibility — in a word, they’re polite AF.
Remember, different personality types can be respectful in their own ways. For example, an ESFJ, which notoriously takes on a caregiving role, may be immensely respectful in many facets of dating — except that sometimes gives them a poor sense of their partner’s personal boundaries. The same goes for ENTPs and ENFJs, except when they sometimes push their partners too hard in regards to self-improvement. The point is, there are numerous ways to show that you’re respectful in the context of dating.
All that said, if you're oh so over dates who constantly check their DMs, leave you on read, or totally disregard your opinions, then keep these personality types on your radar.
If there’s one thing The Advocate is known for, it’s their emotional intelligence. Not only will an INFJ immediately notice if you’re feeling tired, bummed, or a tad anxious, but they’ll also know when to back off, offer support or reassurance, or change the subject. These warm, caring, empathetic individuals are all about making people feel as comfortable as possible, so they definitely don’t want to push any of your buttons.
As their nickname suggests, the INFJ tends to take it upon themselves to be an advocate for justice and equality. As such, they are always looking to achieve fairness in all things — and that includes where dating is concerned. So, they’ll make it a point to ensure you feel heard, seen, and respected from start to finish. BTW, this personality type is also a bit of a perfectionist. Since they have a strong sense of integrity and hold themselves to such high standards, you can bet they’ll be cautious about not offending you in any way.
The Defender’s biggest strength can also be their weakness: They always put others’ needs above their own, sometimes to a fault. Naturally, this can translate to showing you immense respect on dates. They’re dead set on making sure you’re taken care of, whatever that entails. Like the INFJ, they’re also supremely perceptive when it comes to others’ moods, feelings, and desires.
Practical, compassionate, and grounded, the ISFJ's life mission is to serve others. They also place a high value on tradition, so if you’re a big fan of old-fashioned romance, look no further than this type. Just as they expect their date to be reliable, trustworthy, and courteous, they will always exhibit those same qualities.
Just keep in mind that you may need to make the first move with this reserved personality type — but it's a small price to pay for such a respectful date.
One of the ESTJ’s biggest pet peeves is flakiness, which means you can definitely count on them to show up when and where they say they’re going to. To put it another way: They’re extremely reliable and respectful of your time. If they promise to call or get back to you about a plan, they’ll follow through — their own sense of self-respect depends on it.
Sensible, observant and tradition-minded, the ESTJ has a strong sense of right and wrong as well as what’s socially acceptable. Better yet, they use this moral compass while dating. The Executive is not interested in playing games — truthfulness and directness are extremely important to them. So, you can expect them to give it to you straight if they’re not feeling a connection (rather than rudely ghosting you).
Honest and dependable with a powerful sense of duty and obligation — that’s The Logistician in a nutshell. They also have a ton of personal integrity, which explains why they have such high expectations for themselves on dates and in other contexts as well. They prioritize following the established rules and guidelines, and they aren’t afraid to admit when they’ve made a mistake. This is because the ISTJ takes pride in everything they do, so if they aren’t proud of how they carried themselves on a date, you can at least count on them to own up to it.
What sets the ISTJ apart is that they never make assumptions — instead, they prefer to analyze the vibe and draw thoughtful conclusions. So, rather than assuming how you’d like to be treated, they’ll infer that from your words and behavior, fact-checking as they go by asking probing questions. The ISTJ’s ideal date is one that allows you both to be forthcoming and sincere — and that’s because they’re well aware that in order to fully respect you, they need to fully know you.
The Consul doesn’t just value their personal connections, they also take every step of forming and maintaining them very seriously. From understanding your boundaries and building mutual respect, they’re extra diligent and organized in their approach to dating and making sure that their relationships progress.
ESFJs are known as altruists through and through: what drives them is not only their sense of social expectations, but a feeling of obligation to do the right thing. They have a clear awareness of their responsibilities, and that applies to their dating lives, too. Sensitive, warm, and empathetic, they are excellent listeners. In this way, they show immense respect for their dates — because they never steamroll over them in conversation.
The bottom line is this: The ESFJ doesn’t just want to feel trusted and valued, they want their date to feel the same.