What Are Healthy Boundaries To Set In Relationships? 15 People Reveal Their Wisest Guidelines
There are many keys to a healthy, happy relationship but the most important one of them all is setting boundaries. For example, in my relationship, it's important that the two of us respect each other's privacy. But figuring out what's right for you and your partner isn't always easy. Well, if you're looking for some inspiration, a recent Reddit AskWomen thread had ladies share what they believe to be healthy boundaries to set in relationships.
Read along and take note!
Don't lose sight of your own life outside of your SO.
Having a life outside of your relationship. Like not spending all your free time with your SO and neglecting your friends & family. Not having them read your texts from your family & friends. Not get offended when they do the same.
You don't get an opinion on their friendships.
I have hobbies that don't include him, he has hobbies without me. We don't snoop in each other's phones. I don't tell him who he can't have as friends and vice versa.
Love doesn't mean blindly agreeing to everything.
Being comfortable saying “no” and also respecting when the other tells you “no” (within reason).
Leave past arguments in the past.
Don't bring previous arguments up while having a current argument, especially when it is completely unrelated.
Never fight dirty.
Being able to fight with the other person in a fair way where neither of you are debilitated by the idea that the other person hates you or will leave you.
Understand that what works for others doesn't necessarily have to work for you.
What's healthy in one relationship is not in another. I define healthy boundaries by what's fair, what's comfortable to both, what's sustainable and realistic. Relationships are constantly evolving, so I need someone who is going to take the time to communicate and listen so we can make things work (boundaries and else).
Have best friends other than your partner.
It’s fine if your significant other is your best friend, but he/she should absolutely not be your only best friend. Placing all of your emotional needs on one person 24/7 is unrealistic.
You're still a whole person without them.
Respect that the other person is a whole other person all by themselves and that while they might not have the same processes, timelines, or priorities that you do, accepting and trusting that they have the right ones for them so backing off when they aren't a you-clone.
Know when to stop prying.
Allowing the other to have time alone and to not pry too much. If I'm in a bad mood, obviously my partner is concerned, but he never pushes me when I tell him I do not want to talk about it. I assure him it is not about something he did, and everything is well.
Don't gossip about each other.
Respects that you have your own interents and friends, and expects the same for themselves
Can handle disagreements in a mature manner
Respect for privacy
Don't talk behind each others backs.
Remember relationships are a two-way street.
Don't ask for anything you won't reciprocate!
Don't be a snoop.
Not snooping through phone, computer, emails, mail, packages, diaries, etc. It’s invasive and rude, not to mention an alarming display of insecurity and lack of trust. Sometimes you just need things to be YOURS, like a little personal safe haven. My parents used to search for and read my journals when I was a teen and it still pisses me off.
Be a good secret keeper.
Not telling your S/O secrets from friends, and not telling your friends your S/O's secrets. Some people we both know are genuinely surprised when my partner doesn't know something they told me in confidence. I think it's very disrespectful and crossing boundaries to share someones personal information with someone else, just because I'm close with them doesn't mean they are with each other.
Communicate as much as you possibly can.
Never expect your partner to be a mind reader.
The "if they loved me they would know/understand" is BS and a trap.
If you have an issue, talk about it.
If you want something ask
Let your partner have a life.
In a romantic relationship, not asking for permission/giving permission to do things. Your life is separate from your partner’s no matter how joint your lives are, so you don’t need to ask permission from them to do something away from them and even saying “yeah sure you can do that idc” kind of feels like saying “It is my business and I will always tell you yes or no.” At least in my experience.
When my SO asks me “can I do this? Is that okay?”, I make it a point to tell him “it’s none of my business, you can do whatever you want” because I want him to know I’m not his gatekeeper.
Trying to figure out how to set boundaries in your own relationship? Sit down with your partner and talk it out. Eventually, the two of you will draw some conclusions that work for the both of you.
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