Not all relationships work out. Whether you and your partner want different things for the future, or you keep getting into the same fight, or you're just not feeling each other like you used to, sometimes relationships aren't meant to be. Even if you still have love for someone, it's OK to not be romantically compatible. But even though breakups are often easier talked about than actually done, there may be several things you'll notice about yourself when you're ready to break up with your partner, and it's important to listen to them.
Even if you do feel ready to break up with your partner, it's still normal to feel love for them, and it can be hard to accept that your relationship may come to an end. Consider doing what's best for you, and really reflecting on how you feel. "The hardest admission is the truth you must tell yourself: You're no longer interested in your partner," NYC-based relationship expert and love coach Susan Winter tells Elite Daily. "This recognition of disinterest isn't something you can hide from yourself." Truthfully, you may not be able to hide it from your partner either. Perhaps they've probably noticed that you're ready to say goodbye, too.
When you begin contemplating breaking up with your partner, you may notice yourself snapping at them more than you used to. "You have less patience where they are concerned and may become more easily irritated," Trina Leckie, breakup coach and host of the breakup BOOST podcast, tells Elite Daily.
There was probably a time in your relationship when you and your partner couldn't keep your hands off each other. As time went on, that may have simmered down, but you definitely still had plenty of sexy time. If you're ready to break up with your partner, having sex with them may feel like a chore, or even something you don't want to do at all anymore.
"Not wanting sex is another giveaway that your affection is dying," Winter says. "Being romantic with your partner feels like work — because your emotional responses would be inauthentic. It would take an Oscar-winning performance to appear interested in sex with your mate."
When you're in a long-term relationship, your future plans tend to include your partner. But if you start daydreaming about a future sans bae, that could mean that you may be ready to move past this stage of your life. "You start thinking about the next chapter of your life, including immediate and long-term plans that do not include your partner," Leckie says. "You find yourself excited about what life has in store for you," with or without bae.
At some point in your relationship, it probably felt like your partner gave you everything you needed. If you're happy in your relationship, you won't feel like your partner doesn't fulfill your needs. When you're ready to break up, you "crave so much more than what you are currently getting from your partner and the relationship," Leckie points out. And the thought of settling down with bae, which once warmed your heart, freaks you out. You feel like something is missing.
They say love is blind, and on so many fronts, it's true. Your partner's little annoying habits that your friends point out to you either don't bother you, or you don't even notice them. But, "if you are getting ready to break up, little things will irritate you," dating coach and relationship expert James Preece tells Elite Daily. "It can be almost anything that you'd previously ignored or seen as cute." Or the opposite can happen. "Things they do that would normally bother you no longer bother you because you just don’t care enough anymore," Leckie says.
During your peak happiness with bae, any cutie you saw on the street or at the coffee shop around the corner meant nothing. You probably didn't even fully register them. But, when you're ready to break up, "you may start to pay more attention to other people because the thought of meeting someone new and having that spark again excites you," Leckie explains.
Before you make any final decisions, "you need to just have an honest conversation with yourself and decide if you are 100 percent certain that you want to break up or not," Leckie states. If you decide that you do, then the next step is to sit your partner down and talk to them about it. Tell them how you're feeling in a caring and compassionate way, she advises.
Chances are your partner still means a lot to you, but the relationship just isn't working for you anymore. "You can still love someone and know that they are no longer the person that you want to be in a relationship with," Leckie points out. "Nothing is impossible, but in most cases, once you have decided that you want to move on, it can be hard to get the relationship back to how it was during happier times," she explains.
If after having that honest conversation with yourself, you're still not entirely sure you want to end things, "take a step back from the situation" Preece suggests. "Give yourself time to reflect if the problems are really with them or perhaps with you." Consider asking your partner for some space to figure it out and hope that they'll understand. "After you've had time to cool off, you might see things in a different light," he says. "If you didn't even miss them while you were apart, then it's a good indication they aren't the one."
