There are many ways to tell you’re just *vibing* with someone on a date — like when you both order the same drink, or you realize you’re walking perfectly in sync to the next bar. A date over video chat definitely offers some of the same visual cues, but since you’re not physically present with the other person, sometimes it can be tough to tell if you’re actually hitting it off or not. Luckily for you, I talked to a couple of experts about how to tell if you have chemistry over FaceTime to take all the guesswork out of the situation.
There are lots of reasons why you might opt for a FaceTime date. For one, it offers a unique way to vet your dating app matches before you meet up with them IRL because you can get a greater sense of their personality over video than you can via other communication methods. For long-distance couples, FaceTime date is the next best thing to a romantic evening together in person. Even if you or your partner have to travel a lot for work, you may find that having an occasional FaceTime date can hold you over until you're face to face.
“FaceTime does offer a greater level of intimacy than messaging, texting or even a phone conversation," says Michelle Fraley, a relationship expert, life coach, and founder of Spark Matchmaking,
The primary drawback to a FaceTime date, according to Fraley, is the lack of physical contact. Breaking the touch barrier can be a valuable chemistry test. That said, Fraley notes that there's actually an upside to this physical barrier on FaceTime — particularly when you're in the beginning stages of getting to know someone new (which can be nerve-wracking).
"With the constant question of physicality being removed from the date everyone involved may feel less awkward and an increased ability to be themselves," she adds.
You know that awkward moment at the end of a first date when you're trying to figure out whether to kiss, hug, or throw up some finger guns and slowly back away? Fortunately, that dilemma is eliminated entirely when you're on FaceTime.
While there are many perks to a FaceTime date, it can be challenging to get a read on whether or not there's a spark. After all, there's a certain energy that's created when two people are in the same room together, and feeling out that energy can help you to determine whether there's potential for a connection. Fortunately, experts say that you can still use the same cues in your date's facial expressions, posture, and verbal tendencies to figure out if you have chemistry with them.
It may sound obvious, but online dating expert Julie Spira says that if your date is smiling a lot, that's a signal that they're feeling good about how the conversation is going. She also notes that maintaining solid eye contact can be a quality indicator that they're invested in the date. If they're playing with their hair, they're most definitely feeling it, because they're getting their flirt on.
According to Fraley, body language can offer a wealth of signals pertaining to your chemistry with someone. She tells Elite Daily that if your date is leaning towards the camera when you're talking, that can be a strong sign that their interest is building. Also, if you or your date begin mirroring each other's body movements, that suggests that you're in sync and subconsciously on the same page. So, take note if you uncross your legs and your date suddenly does the same, or if they begin tilting their head in the same direction as you.
Similarly, it's worth noticing if you start mimicking each other's speech patterns. Pay attention to the rhythm of your conversation. Fraley points out that an easy flow with smooth transitions between topics can suggest that you're connecting. Fraley and Spira agree that if your date is genuinely feeling a vibe, they'll also be more focused on asking you lots of questions and getting to know you better as opposed to talking about themselves.
"When you don't feel like you're on a job interview or in a deposition, it's a sign that you're scoring chemistry points," adds Spira.
If you can’t really tell whether you and your date are hitting it off, Spira advises taking advantage of FaceTime’s visual aspects. In other words, play a little show and tell about the things you’re currently working on, excited about, or interested in — and then observe their reactions.
“A perfect example is showing your FaceTime date the chocolate chip cookies you baked instead of telling them you spent time in the kitchen,” she explains. “If you've taken up an art project, show your date the watercolor painting you made at home.”
Sharing these things with your date on FaceTime isn't just a bonding experience, it's also a perfect opportunity to observe their reactions. Watch their eyes — if they light up or widen with interest, or if they lean in to get a closer look at what you're showing them, then you can bet they're likely into you.
Keep in mind that if the sparks aren’t flying over FaceTime, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t have any chemistry — because some people just feel awkward on video chat. That’s why Fraley recommends waiting until you have an in-person date to really feel out the situation.
"If you feel you had chemistry with someone over FaceTime, that should make you optimistic that the connection will transfer to real life," she tells Elite Daily. "This will allow your virtual connection to blossom into something deeper."
While a FaceTime date definitely has some key differences from an in-person date, it comes with lots of perks. For one, interacting with someone over video chat is a top-notch way to test out your chemistry before you take things to the next level. Not only that, but you can eliminate a lot of the potential awkwardness around physical contact, and hopefully, relax a little in the comfort of your own abode. One last tip: if your crush tries to get another date in the books at the end of your FaceTime sesh, or you find yourself eager to pencil them in, then you can rest assured that the chemistry was off the charts.
Michelle Fraley, matchmaker and relationship expert
Julie Spira, dating expert