Starting interesting conversations with new people can be an important skill when it comes to evaluating whether someone has dating potential. Fortunately, one of the most natural ways of getting to know someone can be asking them questions about themselves. However, it's also important to keep in mind that asking personal questions too soon may make some people feel uncomfortable. That's why having some casual questions to ask when getting to know someone is a great way to test the waters.
According to licensed psychologist and founder of Rapport Relationships Jennifer B. Rhodes, putting in the effort to get to know someone is a significant part of being a good date. “People who are good at dating know that in order to be a good date, it is never about getting your needs met — it is about trying to get to know the other person," Rhodes previously told Elite Daily. Even if you're not officially on a date with someone, taking advantage of a few minutes at a party or while waiting for class to start can be just enough time to see if there's chemistry. So, here are some low-pressure questions to ask someone you don't know super well that will encourage them to open up.
1. What Do You Do For Work?
One of the first pieces of information people usually exchange is what they do for work. If this turns into a longer conversation, then great! If the person you're talking with seem reluctant to discuss it, don't worry, it could just be that they aren't particularly passionate about their day job.
2. What Kind Of Music Do You Listen To?
A person's taste in music can say a lot about them. Best-case scenario, you find out you guys have a ton of overlapping musical interests and worst-case scenario, you'll know up front that your music preferences clash.
3. How Do You Spend Your Free Time?
This is a solid question that will usually get someone talking about their passions and hobbies — things that most of us really enjoy having the opportunity to talk about.
4. What's Your Favorite Book?
Finding out what type of books someone reads is one of my favorite discoveries. Even though the answer might not necessarily reveal a deep truth, it can shed light on what type of content makes them tick.
5. What's Your Favorite Drink?
After bartending at a handful of popular date spots in NYC, from my experience, a person's drink order (and how they order it) can be surprisingly telling.
6. What's Something You're Good At?
How they answer this question can also tell you a lot about how they view themselves. Do they choose to divulge something deep and sincere, like being a good listening? Or do they decide to give a more lighthearted response?
Getting to know someone new is a process, so don't feel like you have to spend the entire conversation blasting through a list of standard questions. IMO, part of a having a satisfying conversation is allowing it to flow freely and naturally. So, don't worry if the conversation veers off into random directions. Allow yourself to be surprised and if there's a lull, then feel free to whip one of these questions to keep the momentum going.