Figuring out if someone is into you isn't always as straightforward as you may like it to be. That's why keeping an eye out for the signals from body language that someone's not interested can be super helpful. There's nothing worse than spending a ton of time and energy chasing someone, only to find out weeks (or even months later) that they're not really feeling it. The good news is that, once you know what to look for, you'll be able to spot someone who is interested
To better understand the physical cues that signal someone might not be vibing, I spoke to body language experts Traci Brown, author of Persuasion Point: Body Language and Speech for Influence and Patti Wood, author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma. According to Brown, while you're analyzing someone's body language, you can also make an effort to send out signals to let them know you're interested. "The best thing to do is subtly match their movements," Brown tells Elite Daily. "This sends the deep unconscious message that you're just like them and people love people who are like them. So that means if someone scratches their head, you wait five to 10 seconds and then gently scratch your head in the same way."
Once you're farther along in your interaction with each other, here are some signs that could mean they're not invested.
1. There's no eye-contact.
"A listener should give more eye contact than the speaker," Wood tells Elite Daily. "Research suggests that if you want to have good rapport you should maintain eye-contact." So, if the person you're with is avoiding eye contact, then this may be a red flag.
2. Their feet are pointing away from you.
Even though you probably haven't spent much time reading into the positioning of a date's feet, Brown notes that they can actually be very revealing. "Feet always tell where someone wants to go," says Brown. "Maybe that's toward the door. They may cross their legs away from you as well."
3. They're physically closed off.
When someone isn't on the same wavelength as you, they may also find ways to physically distance themselves. "They'll put up barriers like crossing their arms," explains Brown. Wood agrees that if they aren't leaning forward or towards you, there probably isn't a strong connection.
4. They're on their phone.
"Checking their smartphone or talking to someone else on the phone," while in your presence are both signals that they may not giving you their full attention says Wood. This is pretty rude, so if someone doesn't respect you enough to put down their phone, feel free to reclaim your time and leave.
5. Their pupils don't dialate.
"It's a small sign to look for but very telling," explains Brown. "People's eyes dilate around things they like and shrink around things they don't." If you happen to notice that the dark parts of their eyes aren't as big as saucers, then this could be a very subtle cue to pump the brakes.
Although it can feel like a major let down to realize that someone you're crushing on doesn't feel the same way, IMHO, it can be so much better to know than to remain oblivious. Now you can invest your time in someone else who's really vibing with you — and that investment will pay off in the long run.