For all the hype surrounding the sanctitude of Feb. 14, it seems like Valentine's Day red flags are all around. Whether it's demanding a Valentine's Day proposal or frantically trying to get a last-minute Valentine's Day reservation, this holiday can sometimes bring out the worst in people. I mean, I'm not entirely sure which early-year event has higher stakes — Valentine's Day or the Super Bowl — but I know which one I'm more concerned about and it's not the one that involves face paint.
When it comes to Valentine's Day, I've dated the person who did too much too soon (I'm talking 48 long-stemmed, red roses long before we'd even spent 48 weeks together) and the person who literally could not care less about anything Cupid-related even after I'd expressed an interest in doing something simple. Although I haven't had much luck in this department, I'd like to think there's some middle ground here. You and your partner should, at the very least, be on the same page about how you'd like to spend the day dedicated primarily to, well, couples.
Like it or not, Valentine's Day can potentially reveal a lot about your relationship. From figuring out who does the Valentine's Day planning to choosing the perfect gift that reflects your relationship, it's a pretty heavy holiday as far as relationship breakthroughs go.
If this is your first Valentine's Day with your partner, here are five red flags to watch out for and why they're potentially dangerous signs.
If They Say "I Love You" For The First Time On Valentine's Day Just Because It's Valentine's Day
Saying "I love you" for the first time on Valentine's Day sounds romantic in theory, almost like the plot of a John Hughes movie. But if you sense the only reason they're doing it is to subscribe to social norms of Valentine's Day, take a step back. It's only romantic if they really mean it and if you feel the same way. Otherwise, it's just an ill-timed, poorly executed plan that's sure to make things awkward between the two of you from then onward.
If They Know Valentine's Day Is Important To You But They Don't Make Any Effort To Get Excited About It
There's no universal law that says you have to celebrate this holiday. In fact, some people genuinely hate Valentine's Day and they have some fairly logical reasons, including the fact that it's expensive and over-commercialized. But if you like Valentine's Day and have made this known to your partner, it's still a sweet gesture for them to do something nice for you. Relationships are about compromise, after all.
If They Act Like The Fate Of Your Relationship Depends On Your Valentine's Day Plans
This is concerning for a few reasons. Firstly, it suggests that they care more about what other people think about your relationship than you do, especially if they're intent on sharing the details of your ~romantic~ night on social media. Secondly, it suggests that they're unwilling to consider you and your feelings in your relationship, which is selfish and misleading since the entire point of being in a relationship with someone is because you care about them. Lastly and most importantly, it's a clear sign that your partner might be in the relationship for the wrong reasons — they care more about a silly holiday than the time you spend together.
If They Give You A Generic, Thoughtless Valentine's Day Gift
Again, Valentine's Day gifts are never a requirement but in the event that you do exchange gifts with your partner, they should reflect your own personalities and interests. It's always nice to know that someone put a lot of thought into getting you a gift that's personalized to your unique taste. It shows that they pay attention to you and genuinely care about your happiness.
If They Buy You A Super Expensive Valentine's Day Gift That Doesn't Seem Appropriate For Where You're At In Your Relationship
You might be wondering how a Valentine's Day gift could ever be too expensive or just too much but an elaborate gift that doesn't seem to reflect where you're at in your relationship could be a sign that your relationship lacks sentimentality. Is your partner just trying to win you over with expensive gifts or are they compensating for something that's missing in your relationship? Frankly, neither situation is ideal.
Valentine's Day isn't all it's cracked up to be but that doesn't mean you shouldn't pay attention to how your relationship survives this holiday.
Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.
Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!