AD From Love Is Blind Is Still A Lover Girl At Heart

In the modern era of reality TV, it’s hard to know whether someone is on a dating show for the “right reasons.” (Cough, Trevor.) But Amber Desiree “AD” Smith makes it clear she didn’t go on Love Is Blind for the fame, the Instagram following, or the drama — even though she admits she loves getting the tea. She was in it for good, old-fashioned love.

The Season 6 star was single and sick of the dating apps when Love Is Blind’s casting team reached out to recruit her. As a longtime fan of the show, she jumped at the chance. “I 100% went in thinking I'm getting engaged and leaving the show with a husband,” she tells Elite Daily. “That was my only goal.”

She achieved the first half of that objective. After some drama with another connection in the pods, Matthew Duliba (whom she has since made amends with), AD got engaged to Clay Gravesande. The two had strong chemistry, but Clay’s fear of commitment cast doubt on their future — and sure enough, he ultimately said no at the altar. “The final decision was very disappointing and a little shocking,” AD says.

But the March 13 reunion special left some fans hopeful the couple might reconcile. Clay apologized to AD, saying he would “1000%” try a relationship again and calling her “the love of [his] life.” AD was coy about whether she’d consider a future with him, simply responding “next question.”

I don't want to give him a second chance to humiliate me.

However, AD now tells Elite Daily she’s firmly closed the door on that possibility. “I don't want to give him a second chance to humiliate me,” she says. “You had your chance and you knew what you had when you had it, and you made the decision. So he has to now live with the decision he made.”

Below, AD opens up about her decision to put Clay in her past, how she feels about love now, and — in true AD fashion — spills some behind-the-scenes tea about her time on the show.

Elite Daily: As someone who watched all five seasons of Love Is Blind as a fan before going on the show, was there anything that surprised you about the process?

AD: When you do things like this with a bunch of women, you kind of expect things to be super catty, with girls fighting for men, and it was actually the complete opposite. The women fell in love with each other quicker than we fell in love with the guys. So I was actually surprised that there was no cattiness. Well, I wouldn't say none… but not a lot.

ED: One person from the show you didn’t get along so well with was Sarah Ann — specifically when you confronted her at the lake about meeting up with Jeramey while he was still with Laura. What were you hoping to get out of that conversation?

AD: To come in and stir up what we had built as women, the connection and the bond that we had — that was really my goal, [to ask]: Why would you mess up such a good thing as far as our camaraderie? Why would you do that to us?

ED: Some fans online have shaded you for speaking to other cast members about their relationship drama, insisting you “mind your business.” What's your response to that?

AD: My response is that I'm going to get the tea, ask the questions. We're all in this experiment together, so why not see where other people's heads are at? Plus, the people want to know.

ED: What about the tea on Jeramey and Trevor’s rumored relationships before the show — did you know about any of this drama while filming?

AD: Girl, absolutely not. I found out when everyone else did. I was shocked because this is a show for marriage, so I am thinking everyone's coming in with a clean slate like I did. But also, I don't know them that well, so I can't really speak too much on that.

ED: Did any of the cast members who you do know well surprise you while watching the episodes?

AD: I think everybody was portrayed accurately. I would say if I had one person, it would probably be Chelsea. She's so confident and beautiful, so to see her in her relationship was a little bit surprising. But when you love someone and you're committed, you do act a different way. Love makes you do strange things.

ED: Is there anything from your time on the show that wasn't included in the season that you wish was?

AD: I think production did a great job of portraying me and showing my story. I love everything that was aired. Obviously, not everything is favorable — you never want to see yourself breaking down on TV.

ED: Speaking of, let’s talk about your wedding day. What was going through your head as you walked down the aisle toward Clay?

AD: I was just so terrified. I didn't expect for us to have so many people show up and support us. Then when I locked eyes with Clay, I was like, OK, I can take a deep breath.

ED: Did you have a feeling about whether he was going to say “I do” at the altar?

AD: I had no clue which way he would go.

ED: What about while watching the show back? Did you see any indications in hindsight that it wasn't going to work out?

AD: Not necessarily, because although I watched it as a viewer, I also lived it, so I knew the reality of what was being said and what was shown. I still stand strong on everything I said and did.

ED: You mentioned at the reunion that you and Clay have been in contact since the wedding, but you’re not together. Did you ever try to date again?

AD: I mean, he tried, but it just was not what I wanted and still to this day not what I want.

ED: So that door is fully closed?

AD: The door is closed. Yeah.

ED: How did you work to heal from this breakup?

AD: My mom, my sisters, my friends — everyone rallied around me to keep uplifting me and reminding me that there was nothing more I could have done, that I am truly enough. And his decision is not based off the woman that I am, it's based off his own traumas. I'm also still in therapy. There's a lot of self-work that I have been doing and that I'll continue to do to make sure I'm the most confident version of myself.

I love super hard, and I adore that about myself.

ED: Has this experience changed the way you approach relationships?

AD: Slightly. I think I'm still going to love the way I love. I love super hard, and I adore that about myself. But I think maybe I'll take heed to red flags a little bit sooner than I did on the show.

ED: What's your mindset with regard to dating now?

AD: I'm still very much a lovergirl. I believe in love, I’m a hopeless romantic, and I just know my person is out there for me.

ED: Are you actively looking for someone?

AD: I hope somebody's actively looking for me. Listen, I'm the prize!

ED: If Love is Blind were to invite you back for another season, would you do it?

AD: Absolutely. Sign me up.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.