Leave it to your dad to make any situation a little more interesting. He's like a living and breathing meme — which works out nicely for your own social media accounts, because you always have some quality #content to post. You record his cheesiest dad jokes and send them to your friends via Snapchat, or tweet about something he said at dinner last night. The impressions and puns are
endless, and you can only imagine what holiday dad jokes he'll drop this Christmas. Thinking about the jokes coming your way already makes you want to cringe and laugh all at the same time. (Let's be honest: You gotta love them, right?)
In the past, your dad has made it his secret mission to make the holidays into the most hilarious time of the year. He comments on the food or what your cousins have been up to, and pretends to be confused about technology or the latest trends in popular culture. This year, you fully expect that he'll reference
Ariana Grande's "Thank U, Next" music video or bring up your long-lost obsession with the Jonas Brothers. (To be honest: That's still a very relevant obsession. I mean, have you seen the photos Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra are posting from their wedding? Pass the tissues, please!)
In the moment, you'll try not to laugh and give him that satisfaction. But, you'll crack, because despite expecting these seven holiday dad jokes, they're just
too good. 01
"Did They Make You Pay Full Price For Those Ripped Jeans?"
One of the first jokes that's always cracked around the holidays is about your jeans. You walk into the family party wearing a comfy oversized sweater and a pair of ripped jeans. You think nothing of it, until you get through the door and get the witty comment, "Did they make you pay full price for those pants?"
First, it's your dad coming up with funny lines that are total crowd-pleasers. Then, your aunts and uncles chime in, and you have to explain fashion. For once, you're grateful to be sitting at the "kids table," where your ripped jeans can be worn in peace.
"Don't Spend That Gift Card All In One Place!"
When you exchange gifts with your family, your dad finds a whole new set of jokes. These are usually fine-tuned to the individual gifts you get, or general comments like, "Santa must've put you on the wrong list." It's all in good fun and in the spirit of the holidays.
At some point, you open up a gift card to your favorite store, and your dad tells you not to spend it all in one place. He laughs a little bit to himself afterward, knowing that it can only be used at that particular store. Good one, huh?
"What Do Santa’s Elves Go To School To Learn? The Elf-abet!"
Next to all the puns and impressions are your dad's more straightforward jokes. These are the jokes he cracks every year, just like some of your most cherished family traditions.
You're never quite sure when to expect them. Sometimes, he breaks them out in the middle of dinner, or shoveling the snow. The timing on these jokes isn't as important as the laugh he hopes to get — yet again.
This one, in particular, he normally says when you're watching
Elf or pulling out decorations. Do the reindeer have their own alphabet, too, Dad? Let me know. 04
"Do You Need Me To Taste-Test Those Desserts For You?"
If your dad is anything like mine, he has a major sweet tooth. Desserts don't last longer than a few days in my house, and it's always clear who took the first and last slice of cake.
Around the holidays, my mom will
bake peanut butter cookies and gingerbread men, and leave them to cool on a rack in the kitchen. Without fail, my dad will come into the room, point to one, and claim it "looks funny" or needs to be taste-tested. He'll smile a bit, before getting the nod from my mom that it's OK to have one. Pretty good reward for a cheesy joke, to be honest. 05
"Have You Seen Our Christmas Tree? It's Lit!"
Every dad wants to be a little trendy and with the times, including yours. So, you fully expect that he'll try and take your millennial lingo and use it in a joke this year — and for all the years to come.
The easiest phrase to work into a joke is, "It's lit," — because 'tis the season for sparkly lights and plugging in your Christmas tree. The joke material is basically staring you and your dad right in the face. It's inevitable, you know?
So, your dad will ask every guest (and even you and your siblings, when you simply walk into the room), "Have you seen our Christmas tree?"
"What Does One Snowman Say To The Other? Do You Smell Carrots?"
Being a dad already means talking about the weather as much as possible. And the holiday season normally means winter is on its way — as well as, a thousand more opportunities for dad jokes. Your dad comes up with puns like, "There's snow place like home," when pulling into your driveway, and "This blizzard is snow joke," when watching the forecast. You chuckle, because you're going to use them as an Instagram caption one day.
This year, you'll hear at least a few jokes about snowmen, including, "What does one snowman say to the other?" This will be quickly followed by a reference to
Game of Thrones, like "Winter is coming."
The king of all dad jokes comes around the holidays, and can only be used once a year. It starts when you wake up on Dec. 31. The decorations from Christmas are still up, and your presents are slowly being putting away from their spots under the tree. You're texting your friends about
plans for tonight, because it's New Year's Eve, and doing last-minute errands for your outfit.
Later, when it's time to go out, you say goodbye to your parents and get ready to walk out the door. Your dad will squeeze in one last joke for the season: "See you next year!" Even though you've heard it a million times, you still gotta love it. It just wouldn't be the holidays without these hilarious moments.