Fam, there's an unfortunate misconception that Feb. 14 is for lovebirds only, and I'm here to clear it up. Single humans, too, deserve to celebrate Valentine's Day — and there's hardly a better way to do so than by practicing self-love. In fact, if you're single on Valentine's Day there are certain mantras you can recite that can not only ease the struggles that come with celebrating solo, but even potentially allow you to appreciate all that your single status entails.
Unless you've practiced them before (shoutout to all the yogis and meditation enthusiasts), you may be wondering: WTF is a mantra? The word, which has Sanskrit roots, essentially translates to "mind tool." And that's exactly how it functions — as a mechanism to shift your mindset, and retrain your brain to latch onto positive thoughts. Skeptical? A 2015 study published in Brain and Behavior demonstrated that the repetition of a single word could cause significant shift in subjects’ brain activity. Specifically, researchers discovered that the area of the brain most impacted by repeating a mantra is the region linked to predicting, internal evaluation, mind wandering, and rumination. In other words, these repeated utterances can give the part of your mind that's anxious, obsessive, or self-involved a serious chill pill.
Now that you're on board with mantras, it's time to find some that will speak to your single self. As your social media feeds start getting cluttered with sappy posts (and you start wishing you could just fast forward to Feb. 15), consider embracing your solo status by saying these powerful statements.
Everything I need is already within me.
Sometimes, the main source of single woes stems from believing that a partner could improve your life in some way. This mantra provides an important reminder that you don't need a significant other to experience love, attention, affection, joy, laughter, or any other positive emotions. You already have the potential for all of those things. Heck — you don't even need someone else to achieve an orgasm.
There's nothing more empowering than realizing that the key to happiness doesn't lie in downloading the right dating apps, or meeting someone who recognizes how amazing you are because you already hold the key inside of you.
I love others how I want to be loved.
Even if you don't have a partner right now, it's important to remember that you're still paving the way for new romantic possibilities in your life all the time. As they say, what goes around comes around, and treating friends and family with compassion and care could boost the odds that you receive the same kind of respect and love in return, whether or not you believe in karma.
Saying this mantra will serve as a reminder that eventually, your behavior will attract someone who has a similar perspective on love. Not only that, but it will reinforce the notion that you deserve the same kind of love that you so boldly and generously give to those in your life.
I am never alone.
Newsflash: Just because you feel lonely from time to time doesn't mean you're alone. Loneliness is a totally normal and healthy universal aspect of the human experience. The sooner you can accept it as a feeling, not a state, the sooner you can embrace your single-ness rather than resenting it.
Loneliness will come and go, but the fact remains that there's always a friend, family member, coworker, acquaintance, or someone else you can call on in times of need. So, when you're feeling those lonely pangs on Valentine's Day (and beyond), say this simple mantra, and consider reaching out to someone in your squad for further reassurance.
I am filled with happiness for the couples I know and love.
Goodness knows that when you're scrolling through IG on Feb. 14, you'll undoubtedly be met with some super mushy couple's posts. As tempting as it may be to roll your eyes or indulge in jealous or otherwise negative thoughts, try taking the high road with this handy little mantra.
Remember: someone else's romantic fulfillment has nothing to do with you. You are on your own path. And in allowing yourself to be happy for those couples around you, you're cultivating an overall more positive mindset around love and relationships in general.
Right now, I'm single — and I'm so good with that.
Full disclosure: I totally stole the latter part of this mantra from Gabe on Season 2 of You. But hey, if it worked for Joe, it can work for anyone, right?
There's something immensely empowering about stating that you're single out loud because the acknowledgement naturally breeds acceptance. And the second part of the mantra adds an even stronger message of acceptance. By adding "right now," you're also reminding yourself that if you don't want to be, you won't be single forever — that just happens to be your current situation.
I am open to all possibilities — today and every day.
Here's an exciting truth. You might cross paths with someone tomorrow who ends up being "the one." Or, several months from now, you could match with someone on an app that checks off boxes you didn't even know you had. This particular mantra can be especially comforting on Valentine's Day because it serves as reassurance that anything can happen in your love life, as long as your mind and your heart are open to it.
Berkovich-Ohana, A., Wilf, M., Kahana, R., Arieli, A., & Malach, R. (2015). Repetitive speech elicits widespread deactivation in the human cortex: the “Mantra” effect? Brain and Behavior, 5(7). doi: 10.1002/brb3.346