5 Conversation-Starting Texts To Send Your Crush When You Don't Know What To Say
What do you do when you get the urge to text that cute guy or girl you're kind of into, but you have no legitimate reason to start a conversation? You could use a cheesy pick-up line like everyone else, but you don't want to come across as cliché. And you likely won't get anywhere with a mere "hey" or "wyd?" message. The goal is to send a text that gets the conversation going and ensures you exchange more than a few words back and forth. One of these five conversation-starting texts to send your crush could be just what you need, whether you're not sure what TF to talk about or you think you don't have anything at all to say. Sometimes a gentle nudge in the right direction is all a person requires to start opening up.
Once you get the ball rolling, you'll be able to tell if you and your crush are conversationally compatible. If you supply them with a solid opening and they don't reciprocate, then maybe the two of you are not a great fit. But if he or she responds positively to your initial text message, you could be well on your way to making those same sparks fly in real life. Here are five kinds of texts you can send your crush when you want to start a conversation, but you're not sure how to begin.
1. Ask A Leading Question
Opening the conversation with a question is a good strategy. Asking something they'll definitely know the answer to is even better. "You can ask a question they’ll know the answer to, and that will get the conversation flowing more freely," says Shannon Smith, a dating expert at Plenty Of Fish. If you're both into the same sports team and you're not able to watch the big game, you can send a text asking about the score. Have a class together? Ask them a question about the homework. Who knows, maybe you can even set up a future study date.
2. Jog Their Memory
"If you know a little background info about your crush and you've spoken before, bring up something you remember from your last conversation to show you were actively listening, like a band or movie you both like. It's a great way to pick up right where you left off," says Smith. By reminding your crush of your last interaction, you're expressing your interest while also piquing theirs. For example, if you recently talked about your shared love of horror films or indie music, you can send them a related movie or song suggestion.
3. Say Something Sweet
If you’re texting someone for the first time, Smith suggests mentioning something that made you laugh or that made you think of them. A genuinely sweet thought can never hurt — even if the relationship doesn't progress, your text will brighten their day.
Try sending a message that will both flatter them and get them to talk. Did you meet at an improv class? Say something like, "Just saw a comedy show and it made me think of you. The performers hadn't quite mastered their 'yes, ands' the way you have."
4. Bring Up A Shared Interest Or Experience
"The most effective way to strike up a conversation is by commenting on a shared interest or experience," says Smith. Start by looking at their social media feeds or dating app profile to see if you can find any details you have in common: If they post a lot of Instagram photos of their dog, and so do you, you can suggest a puppy playdate. Or, maybe you both went to the same literary event, and you can ask them if they've read another of your favorite titles.
5. Send An Emoji
Smith says that a Plenty Of Fish study found the wink face, kissing face, and heart eyes emojis are the most likely to get a reply from singles, in that order. Consider using one of those in your initial text to show off your flirty side, and increase your chances of getting a response.
Starting a conversation with someone you're interested in can be intimidating, but making the first move is actually very sexy. Smith says that in her experience, women don't initiate conversations as often as they should, so by sending the first message, you'll stand out in a positive and memorable way. Your crush will be flattered and will likely return the favor by initiating next time.
One last piece of advice? "Try not to get too caught up in your own head when it comes to conversing with a crush. Just being yourself is always the best approach," advises Smith. "And remember, if it doesn’t go exactly as planned, don’t sweat it. Eighty-five percent of singles are more than willing to give things a second chance after a less than stellar first convo."
This post was originally published on May 7, 2018. It was updated on Aug. 20, 2019 by Lilli Petersen.