16 Questions To Ask Your Ex To Get Closure & Know It's Really Over

Breakups can feel like a big explosion scene in an action flick. They often happen so fast, with so many moving parts. When you stand back and watch it all, totally bewildered, you might find yourself wondering what the actual heck just happened. No matter how long you were dating your old flame, if you're looking to better understand why you split, these questions to ask your ex to get closure may really come in handy.

Whether you and your ex had been fighting nonstop for a while or you thought you were going to be together forever, calling it quits with someone call cause 50 shades of confusion. But as Dr. Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and host of The Kurre and Klapow Show, previously told Elite Daily, creating a sense of closure can be especially important. This is especially true when you're not sure why your ex broke it off, or you didn't want your relationship to end.

"Getting 'closure' means getting information, getting questions answered, and then pulling all that information together to create a narrative that makes sense to the individual," Dr. Klapow shared.

At any stage of a breakup, if you're looking get to the bottom of where your ex is at, here are 16 questions to ask, in order to get closure.


1. I need to process that we're no longer together — can we take a break from talking and texting every day?

2. Can you walk me through what happened, from your perspective?

3. Moving forward, what do you need from me?

4. Do you feel comfortable talking about why it ended right now, or do you need time to process?

5. What positives did you take away from our relationship?

6. Are you interested in staying friends?

7. What did you learn from our relationship?

8. I have a lot of questions about the way things ended, so can we set up a time to talk about it?

9. Do you have anything else you want to say to me?

10. How have you been processing everything?

11. Did you feel seen in our relationship?

12. Do you feel like you're healing from our breakup?

13. What types of relationships are you looking for in the future?

14. Why do you think our relationship ended?

15. Could we have done anything differently?

16. Can I still ask you to hang out, or do you need to take some time and space?