Catherine MacBride

Man Regrets 'Exotic' Sex Position When He Hears Loud Crack And Breaks Penis

Lately, people have been getting pretty freaky when it comes to getting down and dirty.

I'm talking sex on your car, sex in a park, and sex with your boss's daughter kind of crazy. And after a woman got her dildo lost inside of her last week, we thought we'd seen it all.

I'm not judging you guys, though! Let your freak flag fly.

But I will say this: It's all fun and games until your penis breaks.

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According to Metro, a 59-year-old man, whose name has not been disclosed, was having "exotic" sex in his home of Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam when he allegedly heard a "cracking noise" coming from down yonder.

WTF, right? Things must've been getting pretty kinky, but I won't digress.

Apparently, the man looked down and noticed his penis was purple. He was in an incredible amount of pain.

...I think you know where this is going.

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You guessed it, folks: This poor man's penis had broken mid-sex. Now we're all terrified to try bizarre new positions.

MailOnline said the injured man traveled to a hospital in Ho Chi Minh City to have his damaged goods repaired.

After arriving, Dr. Mai Ba Tien Dung of Binh Dan Hospital noticed the severity of the patient's injury. He said,

The organ was swollen and bruised, but also certainly broken at the joint.

Did you read that? It was BROKEN AT THE JOINT.

If I had a penis, then maybe I could understand more of this terror. For now, I'll just assume the pain would be excruciating.

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This dude was lucky, though, because his surgeons were able to "stitch" his penis back into position.

Thank goodness for their penis-healing abilities because if the patient had ignored his broken member for any longer, he would've suffered much more severe consequences. The doctor said,

Without timely surgery, the patient can suffer from a deformed and curved penis and erectile dysfunction.

Well... uh, I guess this guy won't be trying any crazy new sex positions anytime soon.

Citations: MailOnline, Metro