“She said yes!” “Wait... nvm.” Arguably, breaking off an engagement is the toughest decision a bride-to-be can make — but sometimes, it’s a necessary move in order to protect her well-being and her happiness. So, would you end your engagement? Consider this: There are many reasons why someone might decide to call off the wedding, from realizing differences in values to infidelity or misaligned goals for the future. And sometimes, it’s as simple as waning interest or passion that simply can’t be re-captured.
As it turns out, it’s not that uncommon to back out. A 2013 study by The Wedding Report found that 13 percent of engagements are canceled. Unfortunately, depending on how close to the wedding this decision is made, there are often deposits that can’t be refunded — or bills that still need to be paid. Then, of course, there’s the awkwardness that comes with announcing to friends and family that you’ll no longer be saying “I do.”
But here’s the thing. The peace of mind that comes with looking out for your own needs and desires is priceless. There are times when backing out of an engagement is the best thing someone can do to dodge a lot of disappointment, heartbreak, or another breed of hurt entirely. At least that’s how it went for these seven almost-brides, who shared their broken engagement stories.
We didn't like each other anymore. We would talk about hypotheticals like "what if I don't want to live with you all year?" "Could we be non-monogamous?" "Would you be mad if I regularly worked 100 hrs a week?" I finally put the pieces together and we split.
He needed someone to say "I love you" 30 times a day. He wouldn't make friends and always got annoyed that I had a social life. I had tried to include him but he almost refused to converse and then blamed me for not including him.
He wanted to keep me in his bubble of discontent.
Breaking it off was the best thing for both of us. He is a changed man, with a beautiful partner who gives him loads of love which he deserves.
When I was planning the wedding, I realized I was more excited about the dress and the day than I was about actually spending the rest of my life with him.
He was on Grinder, Tinder, and Bumble, set up dozens of meetings with men from Craigslist while I was working, and started hiding everything from me. I became a crazy woman, tracking his phone, reading his emails and texts, unable to focus on work or school because I had become obsessed with his secrets. I hated myself and, at the end, hated him.
He was very insecure. Needed me to tell him his college program was harder than mine even though I was at an ivy league school and working part-time. Needed me to tell him his penis was the biggest I've ever seen. Needed me to prove my love and loyalty over and over. I think the insecurity came from unexamined abandonment/neglect in childhood.
I realized that I didn't really love him. I cared about him but made several important realizations that led me to decide it wasn't worth saving.
A) the thought of him touching me sexually disgusted me.
B) We were too different to make it work. I'm a social, outgoing person and he never wanted to leave our apartment and would bail on plans — big plans like vacations. A couple weeks before he would say he didn't have any money — but always had money to buy weed.
These are just a few reasons I ended it. And TBH it was the best decision I ever made.
Lady Gaga did it with Taylor Kinney. Britney Spears did it with then-manager Jason Trawick (and returned the 3.5-carat rock, to boot). Even Miley Cyrus did it with Liam Hemsworth — who she then got re-engaged to recently. And who could forget Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson, who halted their engagement back in October of 2018? Sure, calling things off before the vows are exchanged may feel painful, but it can also be a wise choice when you’ve come to terms with the fact that for whatever reason, this isn’t “the one.” And as their stories show, these women took a cue from Ari — they held their heads high and simply said, “Thank U, Next.”
