When they're going well, relationships can be pretty great. However, they can also be totally confusing and frustrating if you're not quite sure where you stand with your partner. If this sounds familiar, you may be wondering how to tell if your significant other is growing tired of you.
You might feel like things are on point one day, and then feel like your boyfriend or girlfriend wants nothing to do with you the next. Ugh. How do you know if you're overanalyzing your bae's texts? Are they actually busy this week or are they avoiding hanging out with you? To answer these questions, I checked in with some relationship experts.
When things have gotten a little more low-key between you and your SO, here's how you'll know if they're growing tired of you, according to the pros. Let's start by touching on the more obvious clues that your partner might be getting sick of you.
Dr. Paulette Sherman, psychologist and author of the upcoming book, Facebook Dating: From 1st Date to Soulmate, says that a clear sign would be if "they avoid your calls and aren't spending time with you [or] make excuses so they can do other things." Sound familiar? Simply put, if your significant other wants to talk to you and spend time with you, they will work hard to find a way.
According to Shaelyn T. Pham, PhD, a psychologist at Psychological Services & Holistic Health, Inc. and bestselling author of Love Match, "Generally speaking, they’d show disinterest in you and that your happiness no longer matters to them." But if your partner has lost interest in you, why wouldn't they just break things off? Relationships can be so confusing. Even if your bae is bad at communicating, it might be smart to take their nonverbal cues at face value.
Dr. Darcy Sterling, a licensed clinical social worker and relationship expert, outlines some specific indicators that could mean your SO is tired of you. Look out for a "shift in your partner's behaviors including the speed at which [they] respond to your texts and [their] availability to see you." Also, take note of the amount of physical touch between you and your partner, as well as how often they flake on your plans. Has your main squeeze been all but ghosting you for the past couple of weeks? Or maybe they've been around, but they don't seem interested in connecting with you anymore. These actions can really hurt, but their meaning is usually pretty straight-forward.
Dr. Karen Ruskin, a psychotherapist, relationship expert, and author of 10 Seconds to Mental Health, agrees. She tells Elite Daily that what you should look out for is a loss of attention, focus, and interest from your partner. If your significant other used to text you every morning and night, or if you had standing plans every Friday with them, and these patterns suddenly stop, something might be up.
Ruskin also notes that it's common for women to turn a blind eye to these clues. She explains that "when it comes to women in their early 20s, they will ignore the signs because they want to see other signs." Try to keep a clear head about what's going on and avoid making excuses for your boo's neglectful behavior.
While a sudden drop in communication is a sign that's pretty easy to read, Ruskin also says not so fast, if you're in a long-term relationship. "In long-term relationships, patterns will change depending on what’s going on in a person's life, so there will be an ebb and flow of their attention." This is where things can get extra confusing. Is your babe really just busy with work or school, or are they mentally checking out of the relationship? She says that "your inner voice knows." So, trust your instincts — even if it might hurt for a bit.
So, if you suspect your significant other is growing tired of you, what should you do about it? According to Dr. Sherman, honesty is the best policy. "You may want to talk to your partner to see if anything is wrong and to see if things that you are doing are annoying them," she says.
Pham also recommends taking steps to get to the bottom of what's really going on, especially if you want to salvage the romance. "If you still want to fight for the relationship, then it’s necessary to bring it up for discussion with your significant other," she explains. Broach the topic with your partner to try to figure out what exactly is causing a rift in the relationship.
While a serious talk might not be something you're looking forward to, especially if you're afraid of what you'll find out, it's the best way to work things out in this case. "Sometimes, it’s a simple conversation to help clear up any misunderstandings that have built up anger and resentment over time and caused the distance in the relationship," Pham says. Serious chats are always easier said than done, so try to approach the topic gently and come from an angle of understanding. Give your SO a chance to explain their behavior, but also be prepared for them to tell you something you might not want to hear.
Sterling says that "keeping your relationship healthy and thriving takes intention and effort." The bottom line is that your bond with your bae is "nothing more than a culmination of your relationship habits. If you’ve got great relationship habits, your relationship will reflect that." Deep down, you probably know where things are heading with your SO.
If it's not meant to be, try not to be too hard on yourself, and remember that there are more fish in the sea. Rejection sucks, but you're a total catch who's ready to be in a relationship, and you will attract a total catch who's ready to be in a relationship. You won't have to convince the right person to be with you, so keep your head up, and remember: You're worth it!