7 Things Guys Tell You In Texts Vs What They Mean IRL

by Alexis DiZenzo

As if guys weren't confusing enough, let's give them a cell phone and the ability to text, so they can type out a sentence that translates into something completely different.

A lot of people will say things over text that they never would in person, and the meaning can be construed in a million different ways.

Honestly, half the time, the bullshit in texts doesn't mean anything anyway.

If the guy you're dating will say "love ya" over text, but he won't say the same thing in person, then he probably doesn't really "love ya," girlfriend. Sorry, but that's the hard truth. Just ask him.

So if you're suspicious of your guy's texts to you, here are seven common texts decoded with what he really means:

Text: "Hi"

What he means:

"I just saw your Instagram, Snapchat story or some other social media post of yours, and I just remembered how attractive I find you, so I'm going to try to start a conversation in a nonchalant way that makes it seem like I'm interested in you for more than just your looks in photos."

Text: "Sorry, I didn't see that last text"

What he means:

"I saw it. It delivered, and I received it. With today's technology, it would be almost impossible for me to really have not seen or received it. I just did not respond. I'm trying to let you down easy, without making myself seem like an asshole."

Text: "I've been really busy and stressed lately"

What he means:

"I've actually been sitting on my ass all day, thinking of ways to ignore you. I'm actually not busy. I'm just killing a few beers and hanging with the boys. I don't have time for you at the moment, and I'm currently not interested, but I'm going to throw in that I'm stressed just to make you feel bad for me. Reverse psychology."

Text: "What did you do this weekend?"

What he means:

"The boys pressured me into drinking way too much and we engaged in some really bad behavior that left me dead on the bathroom floor until late Sunday afternoon, when I was given another chance at life. I'm just checking in to make sure you did not get with anyone else this weekend because I will definitely be ditching the boys for you next weekend."

Text: "Random question"

What he means:

"This question I am about to ask you is not something random at all. I've actually been thinking about how to word it for some time now. But let me warn you: What I am about to say is going to be really weird/ graphic/ sexual to a point that it probably won't turn you on. Actually, it'll make you want to turn your phone off and not speak to me."

Text: "Hey! How are you???"

What he means:

"So I know you friend zoned me, not once, not twice, but about three times now; but I've been drinking a little bit too much and figured I'd give this another shot. I also heard you are recently single. I'm still single. See where I'm going with this?"

Text: "I'm kind of broke. Can we just order a pizza and chill at my place?"

What he means:

"I really don't think you are worth the fancy dinner price, plus all the time I have to spend at the table having a real dinner conversation with you. But I am totally down to shove a pizza down my throat and then participate in those 'Netflix and chill' activities we took part in back in college. Lmk if that works for you."