There are two kinds of weddings: The ones that have drama, and the ones with brides who manage to hide it. In other words, drama is pretty much inevitable at some point, whether it involves an overly pushy mother-in-law during the planning process, or a drunk AF family member at the reception. The truth is, no one experiences the worst wedding drama quite like the bride. Because between trying to please traditional-minded parents and dodging hissy fits from the bridesmaids over their dresses, there’s certainly no shortage of potential issues that can pop up before and after they say “I do.”
In fact, there’s an entire subreddit dedicated to sharing wedding drama. And I know firsthand that the drama can spiral out of control just as quickly as a frazzled MOH can down a glass of champagne. Because while I’ve never been a bride myself, I’ve observed it happen multiple times. Like when my aunt refused to get the airbrushed makeup that the bride (her son’s fiancée) requested, and it launched a full-on war the day before the wedding, with the groom serving as a go-between while they worked out their differences. Or when I tried to plan a bachelorette party for my BFF, and her sisters-in-law not only scoffed at my spa day plans but also sent a passive aggressive FB message about feeling insulted that they weren’t asked to be bridesmaids. Awk, to say the least.
Still, the drama I’ve witnessed seems petty compared to some of the following horror stories, TBH.
The MIA MOH
I am sort of pissed at my sister.
She got married in December, to a guy she'd known for a year. I helped plan her wedding. I hosted her bridal shower and bachelorette party. I paid for the food and bought gifts for both. I was MOH for her and paid for my dress, alterations, hair, makeup, nails, etc. My husband was their officiant and paid for his certificate, tux rental, etc. We also had two nights in a hotel. And I watched her daughter while she was on her honeymoon. All together we paid around $3000 for her wedding.
My wedding? My sister missed her nail appointment (so I had to go alone), had me babysit her daughter all weekend, showed up late for the rehearsal dinner, overslept the morning of (half an hour late to hair and makeup), didn't thank me for the present I gave her, didn't give us a card or a gift, didn't tell me I looked nice or was marrying a great guy, and hasn't texted me since the wedding. My husband thinks she's jealous (we're financially secure/own a house, she isn't). But even so, I woke up crying the morning after my wedding because my feelings were hurt.
The Text Tantrum
The Big Ask
I'm not sure if this counts as wedding drama, but my future mother-in-law called last week to ask my future husband for $18,000. That's more than we're spending on our wedding that we are paying for ourselves. Just no.
The Optimist Against All Odds
My sister said she wouldn't come to my wedding because I had a Muslim couple on the guest list... She also said she wouldn't be my maid of honor. We are 5 months out and she IS coming to the wedding but has decided not to be a part of the bridal party.
One of our groomsmen just took a traveling job in CA (we are in FL). One of the other groomsmen doesn't want to wear the suit we picked out...
My fiancé's ex-girlfriend is marrying one of his best friends the day after us causing one guest to decide between their rehearsal and our wedding. And yes, they had received our save the date before they picked their date.
To top it off - I have a genetic disorder that caused blood clots in my lungs last year (never knew I had this disorder!) Now we live in constant fear that they will re-spawn. During my hospital visit for these my mom and fiancé got in a huge fight...
But we're getting married! ...My fiancé is helping me not freak out every other day over the little things.
The Jekyll & Hyde
My narcissistic mom offered to support my wedding financially. In my heart I really wanted her to pull through, I wanted to offer her my trust her, and imagined us having the warm mother/daughter feelings that you see in the movies at my wedding. So, I accepted her offer as a gift and incorporated it into the wedding budget. She agreed to help pay in several increments prior to the wedding.
Fast forward about a year, 6 months out from my wedding, and she has created all these stories about me and my adult sisters plotting against her, and now in her mind, we are selfish and ungrateful. She will not be paying anything for my wedding and "cannot attend" now due to my "behavior." She'll probably show up. But she won't be paying anything. And now I'm financially stressed trying to pay the last bills for my wedding.
The Double Wedding
So, my fiancé proposed to me last April. Mostly everyone was excited for us (save for my fiancé's father, who hasn't spoken to him since and is probably not happy his son is marrying outside of his race). Anyway, we plan on getting married next year (August). Just last week, my sister was proposed to by HER boyfriend. I was extremely happy for her, but she's kinda bummed at my parents' reaction. Initially, they weren't happy that they now have to pay for two weddings. Now, she and my mom are not talking. She feels embarrassed because she's marrying into a fairly wealthy family who can afford extravagant wedding for all of their children. And then there's the lying, and the manipulation, and all the usual bullsh*t that typically comes from my family.
I want nothing more than to feel happy and excited that both me and my sister get to plan a wedding at the same time! I was going to have to struggle to pay for my own wedding, and now I'm hit with another wedding that I have to buy a dress for and buy plane tickets as well as pay for a hotel for. All within three months of each other. I know my sister would have felt like I was stealing her thunder if the roles were reversed. But I'm trying my hardest not to feel this way. I feel like an awful person.
It's kinda put a damper on things, and everything I do now preparing for my wedding (and now my sister's as well) makes me feel guilty. All I truly truly want is for us both to be married happily ever after. But instead, I know it will be nothing but resentment, guilt, pressure, and arguing.
The Stolen Spotlight
The Grandma Guilt Trip
When my husband and I got married (by a regular ol' officiant) no one said much up-till or on the day of. The day after, we got an email from his aunt and addressed to many of his family members prompting them to never tell his grandma that we weren't married by a Church of Christ minister because it would stress her out so much that she would get shingles and probably die.
Nothing says love like, "Hey your union probably just killed Grandma!" We were so frustrated by that, but it's been about two years and no one has mentioned it again, and Grandma's still kickin'!
The Destination Drama
We are doing a very far away destination wedding and my family (mainly mother & sister) basically expect me to be a travel agent and coordinate 40 adults in another country. I'm not sure why they think grown adults are incapable of making their own plans and travel arrangements — I have provided all necessary information for people (website, Facebook group, messages, calls). Every time I say "as long as they show up to the wedding I don't mind what they do on their holiday" I get called selfish.
The reality is, there's oh so much that can go wrong at a wedding, from unexpected movie-worthy objections, to issues with child-free policies and family feuds over who made the invite list. Just remember — when the drama feels unavoidable, you can always throw your hands up, say #YOLO (I'm bringing it back) and elope.
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