Getting stood up can be, simply put, the worst. In fact, it can be right up there with ghosting and breadcrumbing as one of the most inconsiderate dating behaviors we have to deal with. Fortunately, understanding your date's personality can help you to make sense of some of this nonsense. For example, knowing the Myers-Briggs personality types most likely to stand you up may come in handy for potentially minimizing the disappointment. (And just to be clear — you have every right to feel let down.)
Someone’s Myers-Briggs personality type can actually tell you a lot about how they’ll behave in a dating context. For example, a person’s personality type can offer insight into what turns them on in the bedroom, or even the likelihood that they’ll be unfaithful in a relationship. And of course, knowing someone’s type (as well as your own) can also help you to assess how romantically compatible you are with them.
Given that there are certain personality types that may be more interested in polyamory, or more interested in problem-solving during a relationship conflict, it makes sense that there are also others that are more likely to stand you up. It's important to note that obviously, there are legitimate reasons why someone might resort to this — like if they're suddenly hit with a family emergency or struggle with social anxiety. But oftentimes it comes down to particular personality traits that contribute to this behavior — like flakiness or avoidance, for example.
Wondering whether your date might leave you hanging? Brace yourself, because these Myers-Briggs types are most likely to be a no-show.
This personality type has plenty of positive traits — for instance, ISFPs are known for being super friendly, loyal, and nonjudgemental. However, they’re also big on enjoying the present and can get easily caught up in what’s going on around them. So, if your ISFP date is raging at a killer party, they may be more likely to space out on the fact that they were supposed to meet up with you for late-night cocktails.
Their tendency to live in the moment can make it challenging for them to keep plans. Not only that, but they’re also averse to confrontation and conflict. That means that they may be more likely to stand you up than to call or text to let you know they can’t make it.
There’s no doubt about it: Dating an ESTP is exciting AF. But there is a downside to all that constant fun — this personality type, which values independence and is known for thrill-seeking behavior, can get bored easily.
Given that ESTP’s are super spontaneous by nature and like to live in the here-and-now, it makes sense that they may be more likely to bail out on a date at the last second. ESTPs are doers who don’t tend to think a ton about the consequences before taking action — they’d rather just wing it and fix their mistakes later. And since they live their lives in a lighthearted, fast-paced, non-serious way, they may not really stop to consider the emotional toll that standing you up will take.
There’s no denying that INTPs can be incredibly thoughtful and adaptable, and they’re also highly self-sufficient, which makes them incredible partners. But they’re also logical-minded, analytical individuals who can be a bit detached from their emotions. As such, they may be less likely to grasp from an empathetic standpoint how hurtful standing you up could be.
INTPs also have a tendency to focus inward, and get completely lost in their own thoughts while researching, meditating, etc. — and as such, they can be forgetful when it comes to communication. According to Truity, “Social niceties may fall by the wayside for an INTP.” So yeah, don’t expect them to remember to give you a heads up that they can’t make it for dinner — they’re probably more likely to fall off the face of the earth. But don’t take it personally — they’re just more interested in exploring new philosophical ideas than they are in socializing
There are lots of pros to dating an ISTP — they’re observant, flexible, and chill AF. But when it comes to the cons, it’s worth noting that they can be super detached, prefer logic over emotions (which are too complicated, in their opinion), and would rather go with the flow than be confined to a plan.
This personality type may have trouble committing to plans to begin with— but even if they do schedule a date with you, they may be more likely to disappear and do their own thing because they’re ultra spontaneous and unpredictable.
Getting stood up is never an easy thing to swallow. And just as these personality types are not guaranteed to stand you up, there’s also no guarantee that other types won’t be a no-show, either. That said, understanding how someone’s personality may dictate this behavior can perhaps help you to avoid taking it personally. After all, if someone can’t bother to shoot you a quick text to let you know that they won’t be able to meet up, then that’s their problem — not yours. It could be that they got distracted by another activity, that they got super nervous at the last minute and opted to bail, or that they were too busy living in the action of the moment to remember your plans — but regardless of their reasoning for standing you up, it’s ultimately a flaw on their part. In fact, you may just be grateful that they did you a favor: They showed you their true, authentic selves before you got in too deep and developed even stronger feels.
