How To Deal With The Sarcastic Friend In The Group Who's Getting On Your Nerves
Life is so much better when we're laughing. Maybe you're the kind of person who really like puns, or ends up rolling on the floor over Spongebob Squarepants scenes. We all have a different sense of humor — and if you have a sarcastic friend, you know that things should really never be taken too seriously. But, sometimes you struggle with how to deal with the sarcastic friend in the group, because it can be a little too much. Have no fear — your feelings are important, too, and coping with it isn't as tough as it may seem.
If you're like Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory when it comes to sarcasm, you might not truly be sure of what you're dealing with. There's such a fine line between offensive and the perfect opportunity for humor, and unfortunately, a lot of it is very situational.
Sometimes calling out a friend who's been in your life for so long can feel weirdly uncomfortable, or maybe you're like me and just incredibly passive aggressive. Being a little blunt with your bestie and yourself will surely keep it cool, calm, and collected amongst your crew. And odds are, somebody else is feeling just the same, too.
I'm not totally a pro, but I've learned a few things in my friendships over the years. And all jokes and puns aside, it can be difficult dealing with your sarcastic friend, so these seven pointers are here to help. We'd all rather be laughing with our ladies, than letting them get on our nerves.
1. Be Straightforward
To some people, sarcasm is low-key an art form. Timing it right and making just the right references can be priceless, and get a good laugh out of your entire crew. But, sometimes the joke just goes too far or rubs you the wrong way. And there's nothing wrong with taking a second to get a little realistic.
Don't be passive, and find some inner confidence to make a comment. It doesn't have to be a huge production, or end in total awkward silence. It just needs to be a moment of pure honesty. After all, your sarcastic pal is also your friend, so they should be understanding.
Instead of letting the moment pass by, simply say, "Hey, that's too far," or "Not cool." Something that gets your point across without causing drama or a scene later on.
2. Express Your Feelings
Along with being straightforward, you should also express your feelings. Sometimes when we're uncomfortable or don't want to make a mess out of a situation, we sugarcoat it a bit and don't let our true colors come through. It's important to make your friend aware of exactly what it is that bugged you about it.
If your sarcastic friend made a joke that isn't sitting well with you, be sure to explain why and let all the feels flow. Odds are, it wasn't the first time they thought of something similar to say, and you'll be saving them from future sticky situations or from hurting other people's feelings. It's an important domino effect to create this time around.
3. Just Ignore It
If the situation isn't so severe, you might just choose to ignore it. Sure, honesty is the best policy and this may seem a little passive. But, not everything is worth your time and energy. It'll be up to you to decide which battles you want to truly fight.
Maybe you'll just smile and nod, move on to another topic, or just look the other way and seriously pretend you didn't hear it. This works best if you're surrounded by the rest of your crew and have a little support in the conversation.
Think of it like the kid in kindergarten who would always cause trouble just for attention. As soon as you take away all of that attention, the action sort of stops. In some ways, your sarcastic friend might catch on and tone it down a bit, too.
4. Reconsider Your Reaction
Not all sarcasm is so bad. And sometimes, if you don't entirely understand the sense of the humor or the roots of the joke, you might actually be reacting the wrong way. In this scenario, simply reconsider the joke and see if you can catch the punch line the second time around. No humor should ever really be taken personally, and you might just need a little bit of explanation so that you're on board with it all.
Sure, if after looking over all the fact and figures of it, you're still feeling unsettled — bring it up with someone from your crew or apply that straightforwardness. Sometimes things get lost in translation, and you might just need to talk it out.
5. Understand The Sense Of Humor
Seriously, not everyone understands sarcasm. By definition, it can be a very dry sense of humor and one that you kind of have to learn like a foreign language. Our favorite sitcoms can be the best at teaching us the way of the words. They introduce us to this new style of being funny, and tell us when to take it as a laugh instead of something so totally mean.
Think of Chandler from Friends, or April from Parks and Recreation. Almost every show has at least one character that lives for those moments when they can make a sly comment — and if you're lucky, there's also a Leonard to point out exactly when you shouldn't take those comments so seriously. *Scrolls to next GIF.*
6. Don't Talk Behind Their Back
One of the worst things you can do when it comes to your friend crew, whether sarcasm is involved or not, is talk behind a person's back. Sure, you might want to run your reaction to a joke by one of your friends to see if you should be actually taking it so seriously. But, that's as far as it should really go.
Once you start making assumptions, or calling something out as a sign of character — you're getting into dangerous territory. You don't want to spread the issue amongst your squad if it wasn't totally one in the first place, and you definitely want to just keep it between you and your sarcastic friend. Doing it that way will prevent any future and unnecessary drama.
7. Don't Make Assumptions
Jokes should sometimes be taken as just that — jokes. Like a solid round of Cards Against Humanity, sarcasm has a way of bringing out the bitter and dark sides of your friend. But, I promise most of the time they mean well and all that yelling could just be a sign of "passion" (At least, according to Gordon Ramsay it is.)
If you find yourself making assumptions that this joke is how your friend really feels, then once again, stick to being straightforward and ask them about it firsthand. Especially if you've know your bestie since day one, you'll know where their beliefs lie and should be able to read between the sarcastic lines. In this case, second guessing yourself isn't so bad.