new test of couple holding hands

What You Need To Know At Every Stage Of Your Relationship With A Male Aquarius


Love is a splendid thing, isn't it? We act like there's some way we can do it right, as if there's something we can do, or not do, to keep things from flying off the rails. In truth, if you're supposed to be with someone, there's really nothing you can do — or not do — to keep that from happening. But if there was some kind of roadmap, some kind of guide for those beginning stages of a relationship, astrology is the closest I've ever been to finding one. If you're one of those lost souls currently dating and experiencing the ups and downs of unpredictable Aquarius men, here's what you need to know for every stage of your relationship with your Aquarius.

No matter what, just be prepared to expect the unexpected. Aquarius sees life as a fun exploration, an experiment, and love is no different for them. They'll try one thing, discover whether or not it works, and then try something else if it doesn't without skipping a beat. They're erratic, but not violently so. They are distant without being completely removed. You will absolutely need a map to understand just exactly where this sign is coming from as they're constantly trying to reinvent the wheel and themselves.


The Casual Stage

Before you two have gone out on a single date, before there's any pressure at all, there's one thing to keep in mind about the Aquarius male: You will have no idea that he wants to date you. That's because the way to an Aquarian male's heart is through his mind. He loves to talk until 6 a.m. and will listen to your stories about your current love life, and even share his own, as though he's never even thought about you like that.

The benefit of this is that by the time he asks for your number, you'll feel comfortable around him; you might even give him your number still wondering if he's even interested in you.

The First Date

It could be awhile before you hear from him again. After a night spent talking until the sunrise, you might text back and forth with your Aquarius male for close to a month before he even brings up hanging out again. The best thing to do in the time in-between is to keep yourself busy, because you can bet he is.

Aquarians often have so many things going on in their lives they forget about a social life, let alone a personal one. They have a deep need for personal space, and they'll be careful to grant you the same amount of freedom. When they do ask you on a date, it might be a little overly familiar and offbeat, like he'll offer to bring you hot chocolate to your house before you've ever really even hung out (this is what my Aquarius boyfriend did).

Whatever the date idea is, if you don't like it, be respectful. Aquarians all suffer from a feeling of being outsiders, of not understanding normal social behavior, so try suggesting something else rather than shutting down their ideas in a critical way.

Sexy Time

Once you've decided you like this guy enough to take his pants off, you're gonna be in for a great time, no pun intended. A typical Aquarius won't come off as particularly eager to rip your clothes off. This is part of their detached nature. They don't get attached to any particular result because they know that the only thing constant in life is change.

An Aquarius male might make the first move if they simply cannot wait any longer to find out if you want them. But when you reciprocate, it will still come as a surprise and a delight to them, which is just precious. They'll genuinely have no idea or any assumptions about your interest, which makes them incredible listeners. They're genuinely curious about you, about what you think and what you like.

This curiosity extends to the bedroom. As long as you are communicating your needs and wants, they'll take you to the moon and back. If not, your Aquarius male could get lost in his head, so speak up! This guy is up for anything. Tell him your weirdest fantasies.


Here is where it gets tricky. Once you and your Aquarius male have established that you like one another, are sleeping together regularly, and are hanging out on the regular, do not expect to have a sit-down chat about whether or not you're an item. Let actions speak louder than words. The closest I ever got my Aquarius boyfriend to commit to me was hearing him say, "I'd like to keep hanging out with you." That was four years ago. We now live together, have two dogs, and a couples therapist. We're basically married, and we never once had a talk about "where this relationship is going."

Honestly, I never would have imagined it, but I much prefer it this way. Having a talk about commitment really makes things a bummer. Why do you need to have a contract, a guarantee, when you can wake up every day and be excited by the notion that for another day, you've chosen to be with each other? Doesn't that make it a little harder to take someone for granted?

No matter what, remember that in any stage of your relationship, with any sign, it's important to enjoy the ride. Think of it like a roller coaster. You get in line, you climb in, strap in, and at that point, there's nothing to do but throw your arms in the air and just enjoy the ride.

This post was originally published on Sept. 25, 2017. It was updated on Aug. 19, 2019.