The third time’s a charm for Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker. On May 22, the pair tied the knot at Castello Brown in Portofino, Italy. This was the third wedding for the pop-punk power couple, with each celebration becoming more glamorous (and horny) than the last. A little recap: The pair first eloped sans marriage license at the One Love wedding chapel in Las Vegas, Nevada, during the early hours of April 4 following the 2022 Grammys. Then on May 15, the newlyweds made it official in a private courthouse ceremony with just Kourtney’s grandmother, MJ Campbell, and Travis’ father, Randy Barker, in attendance. Their final (?) wedding was much more traditional and, to the surprise of no one, included Travis taking off Kourtney’s garter with his teeth at the reception.
This wasn’t the first time Kravis publicly displayed their affection, and let’s be real, it certainly won’t be the last. Remember when they stayed in hotel room 69 on the night of their Vegas wedding? TBH, ever since the couple first linked up in January 2021, they’ve had a hard time keeping their hands off each other — although hands weren’t needed for this particular horny moment. The moment, which will live in my head and on the internet forever, was captured by Travis’ daughter Alabama Barker and posted to her Instagram story.
The IG story starts on Travis, who is dancing along to “Want You Back” by the Jackson 5, and while it seems innocent enough, it eventually pans over to Kravis. The next thing you know, Travis is getting down to business, removing Kourtney’s garter with his teeth, with “Want You Back” still playing in the background. Personally, I was expecting “Emo Girl” by bestie MGK, but to each their own. My one question: How much did that now-bitten garter cost? Considering a bra from Dolce & Gabbana can run you up a bill of nearly $2,500, I can only imagine.
While it’s nice to watch a couple that is *so* in love, other times it’s a bit much. Kourtney’s mother, Kris Jenner, felt the same way. “We really don’t know what to do with ourselves. I’m, like, looking for a closet to hide in and somewhere to go,” Kris told Ellen DeGeneres of Kravis’ PDA in October 2021. “They’re in that stage, and it’s really, really special, and I’m so excited.” Agreed. Although calling it a stage implies they’ll one day grow out of it, and I find that hard to believe. Still, watching Kourtney so happy has been worth the occasional (see: constant) TMI. And if there’s ever a time to be all over each other, it’s your wedding.
If their Italian wedding was any indication of what’s to come, let’s just say Kravis’ honeymoon won’t be a restful one. Thoughts and prayers to anyone in nearby hotel rooms.