Men fantasize about so many secret fantasies.
18 Guys Reveal Their Secret Sexual Fantasies

Some of these are... interesting.

by Jamie Kravitz
Originally Published: 

Sexual fantasies come in all shapes and sizes. If you’ve ever wondered what men fantasize about, you’re definitely not alone. Movies, TV shows and pornography might give you the impression that the majority of men have the same kinds of sexual fantasies. While Princess Leia costumes, naughty schoolgirl role-play, and FFM threesomes might be cultural norms shown to us as the most common male fantasy, the idea that all men are into the same things in the bedroom is far from true. Just like women and non-binary people, men can be interested in exploring all kinds of sexual fantasies, from kink to scenarios some might consider “vanilla.”

For his book, Tell Me What You Want: The Science Of Sexual Desire And How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life, Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., social psychologist and Research Fellow at Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute, conducted an extensive 369-question survey about sexual fantasies. Over 4,000 Americans of all different backgrounds and sexual orientations between the ages of 18 to 87 participated. He found that most of the men’s fantasies included emotional elements, like the feeling of being desired, reports The Wall Street Journal. They also included specific people, taboo topics like voyeurism and fetishes, and gender-bending scenarios, like cross-dressing.

Whether you want to surprise your partner in the bedroom, or you're simply curious about what actually goes on inside their mind but you’re not ready to ask, or if you’re wondering what guys fantasize about when they like a girl, knowing the sexual scenarios most men secretly fantasize about can be eye-opening. It can also serve as hot inspo for ways you can experiment during sex. As long as you're both (or all) consenting adults, anything goes. Develop your own ideas, too, and soon you’ll have your own answers for what to say when a guy asks you what your fantasy is.

Elite Daily sourced quotes from Reddit and spoke to guys in their 20s who provided a range of answers to this common question. While some men had similar fantasies, others shared some seriously unique ideas. Their ideal situations range from totally plausible (bondage and threesomes), to highly unlikely (sex in space). Here's what 12 guys had to say about their hidden sexual desires.

This Guy Likes The Idea Of Bondage.
Tuomas A. Lehtinen/Moment Open/Getty Images

“I'd like to tie a consenting girl to the bed and make her orgasm. Maybe throw in a blindfold and some toys for good measure. Just let her lie back, not have to do anything, and give her a good time.”

— Charlie*, 25

This Guy Dreams Of A Very Specific Kind Of Threesome.

“A threesome with two girls who role-play teachers and I'm the student.”

— Chad*, 27

This Guy Wants To Get High (Up).

“I really want to have sex in a high-rise window. Like at least 50 floors up.”

u/mynameistoast on Reddit

For This Man, Two Is Better Than One.

“Normal stuff, getting laid by identical twins.”

u/potato9111 on Reddit

This Guy Wouldn't Mind Getting Some Attention In Public.

“I always wanted to have sex with someone who talks dirty but doesn't swear. And exhibitionism, which is pretty usual I guess. I always wanted to get a hand/blowjob in a movie theatre.”

u/thewesternlands on Reddit

This Man Wants To Enjoy Two Of The Greatest Feelings In The World.

“I'm really into play fighting that ends in cuddling. It's just that sweet release followed by one of the best feelings in the world.”

u/The_White_Light on Reddit

For This Man, Wonder Woman Is A Major Turn-On.
This Guy Doesn't Always Want To Do All The Work.

“I come back from work and then she does all the work so I can lie there and enjoy myself.”

u/Paper-Bag on Reddit

This Guy Has Out-Of-This-World Expectations.

“I want to have sex in zero-g, like on the space station. We would just float there, cuddling and making love and f*cking, gazing down at the Earth below us.”

u/JustOneVote on Reddit

This Man Has A Dominant Streak.
Stocksy/Juan Moyano

“I have a dominant streak. I like when girls want to submit, be subservient, and like to be owned. I gotta find a girl-to-wife who is into that.”

u/tecun-uman on Reddit

This Guy's Fantasy is Costume-Forward.

“My ex dressed in a Harley Quinn outfit.

u/Satherton on Reddit

This Man Fantasizes About a Lack of Communication.

“With some chick I just met that doesn't speak English.”

u/Blitzsturm on Reddit

This Person Dreams of a Love Story

“A woman tells me she loves me, we make love, we fall asleep in each other's arms, we wake up still holding each other.”

u/Sir_Dude on Reddit

This Guy Has a Sexy Voicemail Fantasy

“While I am at work my SO would be sending me a lot of dirty pictures and calling my phone leaving sexy voicemails. On my lunch break, she would meet me at work and we would drive to some deserted place and I would spend my lunch break eating her out while having her tease me. After lunch, I would go back to work while she continued to send pictures and leave voicemails. Once I get home from work I have to find her because she has hidden somewhere in my house. Once I found her I would take her on a rough but loving trip to pound town.”

u/its_not_a_throw_away on Reddit

This Man Wants to Be Center Stage

“Back in high school (senior in college now), I was a theater kid. Our theater was widely accepted as one of the best in our state and was consistently told that we were better than many professional shows that came through town. During rehearsals, we practically lived at school, either rehearsing or building our sets. Because of how much time I spent at school, it effectively became my second home. I would give anything to have sex center stage with fancy set lighting shining down on us.”

u/johnothetree on Reddit

This Man Fantasizes About the Throes of Passion

Moaning ‘I love you’ to the woman I love.”

u/ta1901 on Reddit

This Guy Wants to Get Freaky Futurama-Style

“The thing I've learned about fantasies is this: Some of them are way better in your head than they'll ever be in real life.

That said, the Snu-Snu episode of Futurama did something to me, and I'll never get it out of my head. You guys who are familiar know what I'm talking about.”

u/capnjack78 on Reddit

This Guy Believes Three’s Company
Westend61/Westend61/Getty Images

“I've always wanted a threesome between myself, my SO, and another woman. But the catch is that my SO would be enthusiastically dominating the other woman and urging me to do the same.

There is something about it that makes it so much more than just a threesome, but it's rather hard to describe.”

u/Levnath on Reddit

It’s clear the fantasies had by the men above definitely have range, which makes it difficult to assume your partner has the same ones. Ultimately, everyone is different. The best way to truly know what fantasies they indulge in when you’re not around is to ask them. Let them know you care about their good time, and that you want to learn more about what turns them on. Don’t be afraid to share some of your own fantasies, too. “Being vulnerable might encourage your partner to do the same,” wrote Gigi Engle, author and certified sex coach and educator, for SELF. You never know. Your conversation might result in the best sex of your life, and a more honest and open relationship. Win/win.

*Name has been changed.

Additional reporting by Veronica Lopez.

Studies referenced:

Lehmiller, Justin J. (2020). Tell Me What You Want: The Science Of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life, Da Capo Lifelong Books


Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute

Gigi Engle, author of All The F*cking Mistakes: A Guide To Sex, Love, & Life, certified sex coach and sex educator


New Research Delves Into Sexual Fantasies,” The Wall Street Journal

Reddit, “Men of reddit, what is your sex fantasy?”Reddit, “Men of reddit, what is your dirtiest, most nastiest, weirdest sex fantasies?

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