Have you ever hooked up with someone, had surprisingly intimate sex, and then found yourself with a case of the post-one-night stand sads? This happened to me just the other week. I met up with a guy, and while I didn't really feel a connection to him during our date, the physical attention got to my head.
The sex positions we indulged in were pretty intimate ones. Even though I had already intuited our date would be a one-time thing, by the morning, I was completely attached. He seemed even less than non-committal. And when I texted him later, he confirmed my theory of detachment: He ghosted me.
After doing some light research, I have deduced that the reasons for my attachment were pretty straightforward. I wasn't hung up on him because of who he was, but the kind of sex we had indulged in. These sex positions create primal bonds and reinforce intimacy. They're so effective that, if you really love someone already, you might as well try them out at home:
1. The Loving Spoonful
This position is possibly the most tender, and that's why I'm saving it for someone who is relationship material.
You and your partner lie on your sides, one of you cradling the other one. The big spoon enters the little spoon from behind, while the little spoon also pleasures themselves from the front — either with a vibrator or a dildo.
This sex position is great for vulnerable morning sex or for when both of you are sleepy but still really want to go at it. It allows you to move slowly and really feel one another. If you are the little spoon, you'll probably find your lover's breath on the back of your neck to be tender and arousing.
If you are the big spoon, you also get to grip the little spoon's tummy or breasts, reinforcing the connection and the intimate bond you are forming together.
2. The Nip Slip
Your partner sits in a chair while you climb on top of them and straddle their strap-on or penis. As you bounce up and down on them, your partner licks, sucks on, and massages your nipples.
It turns out that sucking on another person's nips is an extremely primal bonding force, which floods the body with oxytocin, and if you have the capacity for child-bearing, it might make you want to have babies with your partner's face on them.
That's why you shouldn't let anyone touch your breasts or nipples if you don't want to get attached — and why you should let your lover go to town on them if you already are committed to one another (and want to stay that way)!
3. Edge Of Heaven
Having satisfying sex with your partner actually reduces your desire for them over time. It's a cruel effect of nature called The Coolidge Effect, if you want to look it up, and it's basically the reason humans want to pursue different partners over time.
That's why edging is so amazing. Chances are, you have already had sex that experimented with edging, but you weren't aware of it. You know when a guy has you change positions just when it was starting to feel good? He's prolonging his orgasm so that you both can enjoy one another for longer.
The Edge of Heaven makes this tactic deliberate. Your partner lies on their side, facing you, while you turn onto your back. Put one leg over theirs, so they can enter you with their penis or strap-on while you are both staring into each others' eyes. (Eye contact builds intimacy, too.)
Practice breathing steadily. When you feel yourself coming to orgasm, pull away from your partner. Do something else to their body to bring pleasure to another area, besides their genitals. When you have backed away from the cliff enough, resume having penetrative sex.
If you do this two or three times before orgasm, you'll become so aroused, you're bound to have a big one. Some couples do this for as long as a month before bringing one another to completion. Depending how long you've been with your sweetie, maybe that's something you're down to try, too.
4. Belly To Belly
This move is pretty straightforward: Your partner lies on their back, while you lie on top of them and pleasure them either through penetrative sex or with your hands. The full-body contact sends all kinds of loving boosts to your brain.
This might not be the most radical way to have an orgasm, but I still love doing this with someone I love. Why? Because it allows me to see everything that is going on in my partner's face when they are feeling pleasure.
Carefully observing my partner and their pleasure teaches me the signals that something I'm doing is working. I also feel like we are completely tied together through skin-on-skin contact.
5. The Lotus Flower
This is the move I've ended up doing with every partner when I realize I have deep feelings for them. And if someone has me do this during a one-night stand, I'm falling for them, even if only for the next 12 hours. Maybe it's something about the face-to-face positioning, or because the position taps into my subconscious memory of people I have loved before.
The position works like this: You and your partner sit on the bed, facing one another. You wrap your legs around your partner, and they enter you with their penis or strap-on. From behind, they might also try massaging your butthole or you could stimulate theirs. It enhances the feeling of being completely filled.
You're going to want to practice slow breathing with this one, too. Pro-tip: Move slowly so both of you can feel all of the sparks that are flying between your bodies. You can introduce edging into this position, too, or simply enjoy one another while making full eye contact.
There you have it — the sex positions that will make your love deepen for one another. Handle these positions with care, and don't try these at home if you aren't going to be hearing from one another ever again.
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