How To Tell If A Guy Wants You To Play With His Balls, As Told By A Gay Man

by Sean Abrams
Joselito Briones
How can you tell what level of ball play guys are into? Is it obvious or should I have to ask?

— Jazmin, 26, straight

A man's balls are a sensitive subject, both literally and figuratively.

A man's balls are a sensitive subject, both literally and figuratively.

Yes, ball play during sex can occur, and if done right, it's supposed to lead to a serious amount of pleasure. But I can't help but the think the worst if anything comes near my nether regions.

If I'm being quite honest, getting my balls fondled by someone (unless that person is me, lying nonchalantly on the couch) doesn't usually cross my mind. Any contact with my testicles has me immediately picturing myself curled up on the ground and wincing in pain from an improperly timed dodgeball toss.

But hey, that's just me.

If I were to speak for all testicled men in America, determining their general interest in ball play should be something that's asked before diving directly into the crotch region.

If he's vocal and yearning for you to place your hands or mouth around his sack, then consider permission granted.

Caress, tug, tap or gargle as much as you'd like.

Fingers crossed you know what you're doing and aren't too rough, but at least you know he's into that sort of thing.

Now, if you're the one who has an innate desire to hang out with his testicles, while he could care less, ease him into it.

Ease him into it.

Take things slow, show him your unique set of skills and maybe he'll come around to ball play being a regular thing in the bedroom.

Just please God, if you're going to have me by the balls, don't you dare tug too hard. This is a sensitive package you must handle with care.

After all, I'd like to be able to have children one day.

So a random guy made out with me at a bar, only to go make out with someone else and try to flirt with my friend after we were done. The next day, he texted me saying it was nice meeting me, so I reminded him of what he did. He apologized and said he'd like to hang out sometime and he'd “behave.” Do I accept the offer or kick him to the curb?

— Charlie, 28, gay

I mean, the guy already kind of sounds like a serious hoe, but I guess it all depends on what you're looking for right now.

It all depends on what you're looking for right now.

Witnessing a person make out with someone after you just made out with them is definitely a shitty feeling, but to be fair, you did just meet him. You don't have much of an established connection, and I'm sure you were both very, very drunk.

It's hard to brand him as anything besides "that guy I made out with one night," so he has free reign to do whatever he wants.

As do you.

On the contrary, if he was a classy gentlemen, he would have made out with you and called it quits. You exchanged numbers and he showed interest, so that should have been enough to keep him at bay for the night.

From how it sounds, he doesn't seem to be a respectful person, no matter how many vodka sodas he consumed.

At this point, I'd say you have to make a judgment call.

This guy sounds like the farthest thing from boyfriend material, so if you're looking for a relationship, it's best to just be honest in that aspect (or ignore his text completely).

This guy sounds like the farthest thing from boyfriend material.

You wouldn't want to go out with this guy and catch feelings, only to witness him making out with your entire gay kickball league.

But, if you think he's cute and you're able to accept this as a fun and easy hook-up (and hopefully a free appetizer and some cocktails), do it up.

Take his apology as it is, meet him out and see what else he has to offer.

Just don't expect much.