After calling a relationship quits, you might still find yourself creeping on your ex's social media. Even if you're confident in the decision to break up, looking at an ex's page is so unbelievably tempting — we've all been there. But depending on how things ended and what's going on in their life, an ex might make the decision to block you. Feeling upset if your ex blocks you on social media is understandable, and you def won’t be the first person who’s ever realized, “OMG. My ex blocked me.” However, it's also important to realize it may have been necessary from their perspective.
As prominent couples' therapist Dr. Gary Brown previously told Elite Daily, seeing your ex’s Instagram posts and Stories pop up on your feed can be tough following a breakup. "Blocking your ex on social media after a breakup — particularly a very painful breakup — can certainly help you move on," Dr. Brown said. "Breakups can be traumatic for both partners, no matter who ended it. It helps to not have constant reminders of your ex, and one of the best ways to do that is to block them." If you notice you’ve been blocked on social media and aren’t sure how to deal, here’s what the experts have to say.
Consider Why Your Ex May Have Blocked You
Moving on is made much more difficult when your ex is all over your feed, which is why so many people block their exes. But according to matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, Susan Trombetti, it’s possible for your ex to move on and still not want to be friends with you on social media. “An ex might block you in order to move on, to prove to a new love that you are part of their past, or maybe you are ‘liking’ their stuff too much and are a little too involved with their page,” she tells Elite Daily. “They know future prospects are going to see that and think you are still carrying a torch or maybe even that they still have feelings for you.”
It’s also possible your ex blocked you because they started seeing someone new and want to respect your feelings. “It's important to not see everything your ex is doing because it is very likely only going to prolong your pain and suffering,” Dr. Brown previously pointed out. “Being constantly exposed to them on social media is likely to be extremely hurtful to you — and especially if they are now hooking up with, dating, or now living with someone else.” Your ex likely knows this, and so if they blocked you, then you probably want to trust their judgment.
Resist The Urge To Call Them Out
Regardless of their reasoning, it can still be hurtful to receive such a finite message that they don't want you in their life, even if it's just online. When this happens, you might feel a surge of emotions urging you to take action, but instead, Trombetti recommends keeping quiet about it. "There really is nothing you can do except maybe talk to them about it, but you shouldn't," explains Trombetti. "If you are creeping on their page to know you are blocked, then you are only reaffirming the reason you are blocked: You are too invested in their page for their own comfort."
Although it may be a tough pill to swallow, respecting their boundaries is really important, especially if you're still hoping you can reconcile (platonically or otherwise) in the future. Not to mention, it's basically impossible to confront them about blocking you without them knowing that you were creeping on their page, which is... awkward.
Avoid Finding Other Ways To Lurk
Once you realize you’re blocked, you may consider asking your friends to keep tabs on your ex or using their profiles to do some lurking of your own. But according to Trombetti, doing this will likely do far more damage than good. "It is better to just move on," she says. "You shouldn't be seeing photos of them because it keeps you tied to them in at least an unconscious way, it's not good for you. They are your ex for a reason and it's time to move on." Fully letting go of an ex is a hard but necessary part of the healing process, so instead of fighting it — as hard as it may seem — embracing their decision to block you is probably the healthiest option.
If you're still coping with a breakup, being blocked might actually be a blessing in disguise. Quitting someone cold turkey can certainly be tough, but clinging to them via social media can make the process a lot more painful. Even if you don't have any leftover feelings for them, being blocked can still be a huge bummer, but just remember: Although it might be hurtful, it's ultimately their decision.
Dr. Gary Brown, couples' therapist
Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking
Editor's Note: This story has been updated by Elite Daily Staff.
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