If you're a person with a sex life, chances are at some point, you might have received a dick pic. And if you're a dude, maybe you've sent one. Perhaps you're a boyfriend who's sent one to his girlfriend or a f*ck-buddy who sent one to his girl of the moment. Perhaps you're some rando horny dude on Snapchat who guessed my username one day and decided I would be the next victim of your dick pic roulette (true story).
Sending and receiving dick pics is, for better or worse, a rite of passage for any sexually active young person. It just is. As long as it's done consensually: always ask before sending, always ask before photographing! Unsolicited dick pics are a huge no — it can be a sexy way to take advantage of living in the digital age.
It’s important to remember, however, that you should be at least 18 before engaging in this activity of taking or sending nudes. If not, it is grounds for criminal charges. Something else important to remember is to make sure you don’t include your face or have any identifiable scars, birthmarks, or tattoos visible in the images lest something happen to them once you send them off into the ether.
I can guarantee, however, that no matter how many pictures of dicks dudes have sent and women have received, none have been quite like the ones from photographer Soraya Doolbaz. She’s a photographer in New York who, yes, takes dick pics professionally.
"I was shocked into laughter the first time I got my first dick pic," she told me on the phone. "And I just couldn't believe that somebody would do that. And then, when discussing it with my girlfriends and realizing this is a normal thing that happens, I was like... 'Wow, I wanna see more.’”
Here, we spoke to Doolbaz about how she takes her perfect dick pic and how to take a good dick pic in general. There’s more to it than you might have thought!
Bring Your Own Fluffer.
For your own personal dick pic photoshoot, your own hand will probably do the trick for a fluffer. Keep jerking it off to make sure it doesn't go limp. If you’re feeling even more adventurous and you’ve figured out the remote shutter, take a couple of shots mid-stroke!
The Angle Of Your Dick Pic Is Everything.
When learning how to take a dick pic, Doolbaz stressed the importance of the angle.
"If you're taking your own dick pic, ‘point of view’ is the classic one. The balls aren't in there, it gets the point across, and you know, that's the standard dick pic. If you wanted to do more of a body shot -- let's say you have a full length mirror and you want to do a sideways shot with a little of your body in there -- that's awesome, too. Another that's great is [putting] a reverse camera on a table. Lean over it, but still keep the balls out of it. And when you hit focus on the camera, your dick is front and center in the shot while your body is blurred in the background. That's a really artistic shot."
Consider If You Want Balls In Your Dick Pic.
While Doolbaz seemed to vote against having balls in your dick pic, if you’re particularly proud of your pair, try taking a shot from the side instead of, if you’ll pardon the phrase, head-on.
Or, if you’re not concerned one way or the other about featuring the jewels, a standard head-on shot, pun intended this time, will do just fine.
Your Dick Pic Deserves Good Lighting.
Attention, men who take dark, grainy pictures in their bedrooms at 2 a.m.: Don't. Because lighting is extremely important.
"You need really good lighting," Doolbaz said. "There's different lighting you can do. There's spot lighting, where you're focusing the light right on the dick. [For others], I have light only coming from one side to create a more dramatic portrait, if you will."Do you want your dick to be cast in a mysterious noir film? Or frolicking in a grassy meadow under some direct sunlight? You have to decide. These are important things to consider for your style of the portrait.Something else to consider is the possibility of going classic — what about black and white? If the lighting in your room isn’t great, you can edit the image to be a little more experimental and, dare we say, chic. Just remember to have a range of tones represented for the best image possible--from white to black and all the grays in between. Just a gray photo won’t do.
Don’t Settle For A Subpar Dick Pic.
Doolbaz said she takes hundreds of pictures in each photoshoot and chooses the best ones. So, your first dick pic shot probably won't be your last.
PS, don't forget to delete all the bad shots from your camera roll. And maybe the good ones too, in case someone decides to hack into your cloud.
A good rule of thumb from your photoshoot is to pick between two and five. This way you have some options for different moods!
Before You Send Your Dick Pic, Get Consent.
Doolbaz couldn't stress this enough. "My number one tip for [how to take] dick pics [is to] make sure you have either been intimate or he or she has asked for it. The number one mistake people make is sending unsolicited dick pics."
Let me repeat: Your recipient is going to be weirded out (and possibly really upset by) your dick pic if you don't let them know you're sending it first.
Sure, there are ways to make people feel less uncomfortable with a surprise picture of your dick. But there's an easier and less humiliating way to help people feel ambushed by dick pictures: Just freaking ask permission first.
Thanks to Doolbaz, it's even more likely that the recipient will be happy to receive your next dick pic, which could literally be a work of art.
Soraya Doolbaz, photographer