Try them out tonight 😉
When you're looking to spice things up in the bedroom, dirty talk can be a fun thing to turn to. At face value, dirty talk seems relatively straightforward and easy. All you have to do is say exactly what you want, right? That’s easier said than done for some people. Perhaps you’re new to talking dirty, still working up the confidence to speak that way with your partner, or not 100% sure what to do — it can definitely feel somewhat daunting. If you're looking to add some frisky language to your repertoire, there are some dirty talk phrases for beginners that you can try out as soon as tonight.
Whether you're introducing dirty talk into your bedroom for the first time, or you've tried it before and want to feel more confident, discussing the subject before you hit the sheets might calm your nerves. “When you’re trying something new in the bedroom, talking about it can help set the stage and engage your partner’s desires,” Luna Matatas, a sex and pleasure educator, tells Elite Daily. “You can mention that you’re curious about dirty talk and ask what your partner’s experience is with it or what they think about it. If you’re nervous about trying it out or worried about feeling silly — let them know this too. This can give your partner an opportunity to affirm you, and it can help you take the pressure off of performing perfectly.” Plus, if dirty talk isn’t for you, definitely let your partner know.
Remember, there's no single "right" way to turn up the heat. The best seductive language is the kind that comes naturally to you. But it can sometimes be tough to think straight when your mind is occupied by, um, other things — so feel free to slip a few of these freaky things to say into your back pocket. Learning how to talk dirty should be fun, so try to relax and go with the flow. Before you know it, you'll be a dirty talk pro.
Especially when it comes to telling your partner what you want, try out pairing your dirty talk with some physical touch. “You can use your touch on your partner’s body to partner with what you’re saying,” Matatas explains. “An intense, firm touch might accompany dirty talk that is more assertive. Long strokes with your fingers can deepen the hotness of dirty talk that is more sultry or romantic.”
In addition to trying out these phrases and techniques, Matatas also suggests giving a few intimate activities a try in order to get your dirty talk juices flowing. “Pick a sexy activity you already both like to do, for example oral sex or using vibrators, and give or take direction with simple words like faster/slower or harder/softer,” she says.
Another idea is having an erotica date night. “Take turns reading erotica to each other, get silly with animated reading, and practice slowing your words down,” says Matatas. “Reading erotica can also help you build your dirty talk vocabulary. Role-play can also help you bring dramatics into dirty talk. “Embodying a character might inspire a particular tone or specific words,” Matatas adds. “Think about what and how your character or archetype might say in a sexy situation.”
Talking dirty for the first time ever or with a new partner can seem a little scary or daunting, but you may be surprised by just how easily and naturally it rolls off the tongue once you get started — not to mention how totally hot you may both find it. As long as you and your partner enjoy trying out and using dirty talk together, there is no wrong way to go about it.
Luna Matatas, sex and pleasure educator
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