Just as there are signs that can suggest you’re falling in love, that an engagement ring is on the way, or that you’re ready to move in together, there are also signs that you’re headed for splitsville. Some of them are more obvious than others, of course. For example, if you seem to be having the same fight over and over, your communication quality is seriously suffering, and your sex life is basically nonexistent, those can all be red flags that your relationship may not survive. That said, there are some other slightly more subtle signs that you’re headed for a summer breakup, too. Given that it seems summer is a more common time for couples to part ways, it’s certainly worth keeping a lookout for these signs.
According to Facebook data from 2010 to 2011, people are least likely to change their statuses to “in a relationship” between May and August, leading researchers to conclude that “summer months are bad news for relationships.” And there are many reasons why people may be more likely to split when the hotter months hit. Summer is a stellar time to be single because there are far more opportunities to mix and mingle when the weather is pleasant and more people are out of hibernation. Not to mention, this season has an inherently carefree vibe that pairs perfectly with steamy, spontaneous flings. Enter: “uncuffing season,” which Urban Dictionary defines as a time during the spring and summer when “people who were previously in relationships during the winter break up” so they can “play the field and not be tied down.”
“It can be a very good time to meet someone new if you aren't happy with your current relationship” board-certified psychiatrist Dr. Susan Edelman tells Elite Daily.
So, is your relationship in trouble as the hotter months approach? Here are some possible signs that a summer breakup may be coming.
You're annoyed with your partner — like, all the time.
It's totally normal for your boo to get on your nerves now and then. But if you find yourself feeling irked by their behavior on a daily basis, Dr. Edelman says that could be a red flag that you're en route to a breakup come summer.
So, take note of how frequently you're getting annoyed with your SO. When you find yourself getting irritated simply by the sound of their breathing, odds are that's not really what's bothering you. There's likely a deeper issue lingering beneath the surface — one that may be a dealbreaker, depending on what it is and how you and your partner handle it.
You're happiest when you're not around your partner.
Take a moment to honestly ask yourself: When are you the happiest? If it's when you're alone or with your friends, that could be a hint that your relationship is on the rocks, according to Dr. Edelman. It may sound obvious, but think about it this way: How you choose to spend your free time says a lot. So if you'd rather be by yourself or with your besties on your day off, then that could suggest you're avoiding your partner, or you don't enjoy their company anymore, both of which aren't great signs.
You don't trust your partner.
It kind of goes without saying that trust is a super important component of a healthy relationship. So it makes sense why Dr. Edelman would deem a lack of trust one of the top signs that you’re headed for a summer breakup. Maybe you caught your partner microcheating a few months back, or maybe their behavior has just been shady AF lately. Either way, if you don’t tackle those trust issues head-on, there’s a chance your relationship might not survive the summer.
You just don't seem to appreciate each other anymore.
Feeling appreciated is so key in any relationship. When you and your partner show that you’re thankful for the little things that you do for each other, then you’re more likely to keep making an effort. Dr. Edelman notes that if you don’t take the time to acknowledge what you like or appreciate about each other, that could be a negative sign. So, when was the last time you said thanks when they did the dishes, or they told you how much it meant to them that you made dinner? It might be hard for a relationship to survive the warmer months if you can’t even muster up the energy to show your gratitude for your SO.
Neither of you is making an effort.
Speaking of gratitude, it’s tough to feel any sense of appreciation if you’ve both stopped putting an effort in. And a lack of effort can point to the possibility that you’re simply not invested in this relationship anymore. Remember at the very beginning, when you and bae eagerly planned out elaborate dates and spent hours searching for the perfect thoughtful present for each other? That kind of effort shows that you care. So it’s worth taking a hard look at how much effort you’re putting in now — because Dr. Edelman says if it’s nonexistent, that may be a hint that a summer breakup is headed your way.
According to Dr. Edelman, sometimes the best indicator of an impending breakup is simply a gut feeling.
“You might have a fear or a sixth sense that a breakup is coming,” she explains.
And if you do have a feeling that you’re headed toward a split, either because your instinct tells you so or because you recognize one of these common signs, don’t stress quite yet. Dr. Edelman notes that there’s still time to save your relationship — provided you and your boo are both on board with doing so.
“You may need to bring up the elephant in the room that neither of you wants to talk about,” she adds. “That means saying, ‘Hey, our relationship has changed and it isn't good. What's going on?’ Try to identify what isn't working for you.”
Dr. Edelman advises using “I statements” — for example, “I feel neglected when you work late every night,” which focuses more on your emotions rather than blaming your partner, and is thus less likely to put them on the defensive.
“It’s hard for someone to argue with how you feel,” she explains.
Once you figure out what isn’t working, then you can start coming up with solutions on how to make positive changes. And if you need help figuring out the problems or how to resolve them, it can be helpful to seek out some unbiased input from a couples’ therapist.
However, you may decide that you don’t want to salvage your relationship after all. If you’re too hurt by their past actions, or you don’t believe your partner has the potential to meet your needs anymore because you’ve changed a lot, or they simply aren’t willing to meet you halfway and put in the necessary effort to get your relationship back on track, then summertime may serve as the perfect time to call it quits. On the bright side, it’s safe to say that the best season to be single is upon us, so if you do end up splitting, you can consider that breakup an opportunity to have your best summer yet.