One of the most important parts of sustaining a healthy relationship is ensuring that your partner feels appreciated. Unfortunately, since everyone's needs in a relationship are different, figuring out the best ways to make your partner feel appreciated isn't always easy. That's why knowing their love language(s) can help you understand which appreciative gestures can work best for them.
Anita Chlipala, licensed marriage and family therapist and author of First Comes Us: The Busy Couple's Guide to Lasting Love explained that sussing out how your partner prefers to experience your love and appreciation can make it much easier to fulfill their needs. “I see how important [love languages] are in the love lives of my clients," Chlipala previously told Elite Daily. "People do have a preference for how they feel loved and cared for by their partner."
The five love languages were first outlined by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. "According to Chapman, individuals have a primary and a secondary love language," Shula Melamed, MA, MPH, and well-being coach previously told Elite Daily. Once you and your partner have taken the love language quiz, based on the results, you can zero in on what types of gestures will make them feel the most appreciated.
If your SO experiences love through actions, then making them feel appreciated will probably involve finding thoughtful ways to show them you care. For example, if you know they're having a crazy stressful week, something as simple as surprising them with their favorite home-cooked meal, cleaning their apartment, or solving a problem for them can go a long way.
For partners who feel appreciated when their bae makes an effort to spend quality time with them, planning thoughtful and unique date ideas is key. For people whose love language is quality time, nothing tops knowing that being together is one of their partner's top priorities. Consider experimenting with finding a new hobby you both enjoy. Or, make plans to share a new experience like taking an art class together.
If being affectionate is really important to your SO, then keeping your physical connection strong is a great way to show them you care. Things like setting aside plenty of time to be physically intimate in ways you know they enjoy can be super effective. However, this love language isn't necessarily about sex. You can also put effort into being cuddly, even if it's not your thing. Something as simple as pulling them in for a spontaneous kiss while you're out and about is also a nice gesture.
Of all the love languages, this one is oftentimes the most misunderstood. Although people often judge a person who equates receiving gifts with love as being materialistic, according to Chapman, this isn't typically the case. For someone who feels appreciated when their partner gives them a gift, it's not necessarily about spending a lot of money, but the symbolism of what the token represents. So, coming home with flowers, their favorite dessert, or little surprise will show them just how thoughtful you are.
Some baes really love it when their partners express their appreciation vocally. This can be demonstrated as simply as writing them little love notes when they cross your mind and regularly reminding them how much they mean to you. In relationships, it can be all too easy to assume that an SO knows how you feel about them, but for these lovers, actually hearing it is so important.
In the end, making sure both you and your bae feel appreciated is major. No one wants to feel like their partner is taking them for granted. Ultimately, learning your SO's love language makes it so much easier for you to show them how much you appreciate them, but you know your partner and what makes them feel good. Capitalize on that knowledge whenever you can, so your bae has no doubt in their mind that you love and appreciate them and all they do.
