What Do Men Fantasize About? 12 Guys Reveal Their Secret Sexual Fantasies

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Sexual fantasies come in all shapes and sizes. . If you’ve ever wondered what men fantasize about, you’re definitely not alone. Movies, TV shows, and pornography might give you the impression that the majority of men have the same kinds of sexual fantasies. While Princess Leia costumes, naughty schoolgirl role-play, and FFM threesomes are plenty popular, the idea that all men are into the same things in the bedroom is far from true. Just like women and non-binary people, men can be interested in exploring all kinds of sexual fantasies, from kink to scenarios some might consider “vanilla.”

For his book, Tell Me What You Want: The Science Of Sexual Desire And How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life, Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., social psychologist and Research Fellow at Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute, conducted an extensive 369-question survey about sexual fantasies. Over 4,000 Americans of all different backgrounds and sexual orientations between the ages of 18 to 87 participated. He found that most of the men’s fantasies included emotional elements, like the feeling of being desired, reports The Wall Street Journal. They also included specific people, taboo topics like voyeurism and fetishes, and gender-bending scenarios, like cross-dressing.

Whether you want to surprise your partner in the bedroom, or you're simply curious about what actually goes on inside their mind but you’re not ready to ask, knowing the sexual scenarios most men secretly fantasize about can be eye-opening. It can also serve as hot inspo for ways you can experiment during sex. As long you’re both (or all) consenting adults, anything goes.

Elite Daily sourced quotes from Reddit and spoke to guys in their 20s who provided a range of answers to this common question. While some men had similar fantasies, others shared some seriously unique ideas. Their ideal situations range from totally plausible (bondage and threesomes), to highly unlikely (sex in space). Here's what 12 guys had to say about their hidden sexual desires.

1. This Guy Likes The Idea Of Bondage.

Stocksy/Audrey Shtecinjo
I'd like to tie a consenting girl to the bed and make her orgasm. Maybe throw in a blindfold and some toys for good measure. Just let her lie back, not have to do anything, and give her a good time.

— Charlie*, 25

2. This Guy Dreams Of A Very Specific Kind Of Threesome.

A threesome with two girls who role-play teachers and I'm the student.

— Chad*, 27

3. This Guy Wants To Get High (Up).

I really want to have sex in a high rise window. Like at least 50 floors up.

u/mynameistoast

4. For This Man, Two Is Better Than One.

Normal stuff, getting laid by identical twins.

u/potato9111

6. This Guy Wouldn't Mind Getting Some Attention In Public.

I always wanted to have sex with someone who talks dirty but doesn't swear. And exhibitionism, which is pretty usual I guess. I always wanted to get a hand/blowjob in a movie theatre.

u/thewesternlands

5. This Man Wants To Enjoy Two Of The Greatest Feelings In The World.

skynesher/E+/Getty Images
I'm really into play fighting that ends in cuddling. It's just that sweet release followed by one of the best feelings in the world.

u/The_White_Light

7. For This Man, Wonder Woman Is A Major Turn-On.

8. This Guy Doesn't Always Want To Do All The Work.

I come back from work and then she does all the work so I can lie there and enjoy myself.

u/Paper-Bag

9. This Guy Has Out-Of-This-World Expectations.

I want to have sex in zero-g, like on the space station. We would just float there, cuddling and making love and f*cking, gazing down at the Earth below us.

u/JustOneVote

10. This Man Has A Dominant Streak.

Stocksy/Juan Moyano
I have a dominant streak. I like when girls want to submit, be subservient, and like to be owned. I gotta find a girl to wife who is into that.

u/tecun-uman

11. This Guy's Fantasy Is Super Specific.

My ex dressed in a harley quinn outfit

u/Satherton

12. For This Man, Communication Falls By The Wayside.

With some chick I just met that doesn't speak English.

u/Blitzsturm

It’s clear the fantasies had by the men above definitely range, which makes it difficult to assume that your partner has the same ones. Ultimately, everyone is different. The best way to truly know what fantasies they indulge in when you’re not around is to ask them. Let them know you care about their good time, and that you want to learn more about what turns them on. Don’t be afraid to share some of your own fantasies, too. “Being vulnerable might encourage your partner to do the same,” wrote Gigi Engle, author and certified sex coach and educator, for SELF. You never know. Your conversation might result in the best sex of your life, and a more honest and open relationship. Win/win.

*Name has been changed.

Additional reporting by Veronica Lopez.

Studies referenced:

Lehmiller, Justin J. (2020). Tell Me What You Want: The Science Of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life, Da Capo Lifelong Books

Experts:

Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute

Gigi Engle, author of All The F*cking Mistakes: A Guide To Sex, Love, & Life, certified sex coach and sex educator

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