The 1 Thing You Should Do Before A Breakup To Make It Hurt Less
Whether you're dipping your spoon into the last bite of a chocolate soufflé or clicking into the last episode of the new season of Workin' Moms, parting with something you love is never easy. Of course, when it comes to winding down a romantic relationship, preparing for the end can feel more daunting than climbing Mount Everest barefoot. If you and your boo have been arguing a lot lately, or you feel like you'd be happier dating someone else, it's natural to wonder about the one thing you should do before a breakup.
"To really prepare for a breakup, first and foremost, you have to determine that you are absolutely certain that you want to end the relationship," Pricilla Martinez, M.S., and CEO of Regroop Online Life Coaching tells Elite Daily. "This doesn't mean you need to wait until your feelings for them are completely gone, but you have to be certain that the relationship can't be repaired and that you're ready to step away from it."
According to Martinez, the one thing to do before calling it quits with someone is to give yourself time really to think about your feelings. Ending a relationship means an opening floodgate of emotions, and getting clear on your feelings can be the best way to start to move forward. "You don't need to rush the decision," Martinez says. "If you decide you that actually want to be with them, their ego may not recover from the blow of you breaking up with them."
Breakups are hard for everyone. And while it's always OK for your feelings to change or evolve, no one wants to be put through the runaround. If you're not really sure what you want, haphazardly calling it quits with someone just to ask them to get back together with you can be painful and confusing for all parties. Though you're always allowed to do what's right for you, Martinez shares that taking time to think before making any major decisions (like dumping your boo) can be a more considerate practice.
Of course, if you've been thinking about the breakup for a while, and you know that you and your boo aren't compatible, or you feel like you could repair your relationship, but you don't really want to, Martinez shares that it may be time to walk away. "If you're finding that your relationship is a consistent source of stress and you've already attempted to clear the air and get on the same page, then it's probably time to pull the plug," Martinez says.
While it may be incredibly painful, being honest with yourself about your needs and emotions can help you decide the next steps to take. "The key is to be straightforward without being cold," Martinez says. "You want to be clear and concise, so things don't get convoluted in the mix of possible emotions." Maybe your partner may get along great with your family, or you may have all the same hobbies. Regardless, if being with them is causing you extra stress, it may be time to walk away. While life and daily stress affect every relationship, you deserve to be with someone who lifts you up and has your back.
As Martinez attests, when a relationship is ending, it's always OK to take your time to really think about your choices before making a big decision. Of course, if you're not sure what you're feeling, Martinez suggests being patient with yourself and taking a minute before making any big choices. While there's never a good time to call it quits with someone, taking your sweet time before a breakup may be the best thing you can do.