Should You Tell Your Crush How You Really Feel? These 6 Signs Point Toward Yes
Crushes can flood you with so many emotions — you're excited, nervous, you want them to like you back and make a move, you want to spend time with them and laugh with them, learn everything and anything about them... it's a lot. But it's also a lot of fun. These nerve-wracking (in a good way), thrilling feelings can all lead to something really beautiful. But crushes can also be hard, especially if you're unsure about the other person's feelings. Should you tell your crush how you really feel? Well, according to a few experts, if you notice these six signs, you should consider telling the truth.
But before making the decision to share your feelings with your crush, it's important to decide if it's worth possibly risking your friendship, or at the very least, having to establish a new kind of friendship. "It doesn’t happen all the time but it’s an important thing to keep in mind if it comes up," Thomas Edwards, founder of The Professional Wingman, tells Elite Daily. Unfortunately, there's always a chance they may not respond the way you want them to, which may make things a little awkward between you for a bit. Give it some time. "Remember, you did just reveal something you’ve been hiding from the person you probably share everything with, so it’ll take a little time to get over. But soon, that moment will become a distant memory and be replaced by creating quality experiences together that highlight your friendship."
If you're wondering whether you should or shouldn't tell your crush how warm and fuzzy they make you feel inside, you may want to consider spilling the beans if you notice any of these signs.
1. You avoid them or certain conversations with them and/or about them.
While crushes can be really fun and make you feel all giddy inside, they can also sometimes feel a little scary — especially if the last thing you want is for them to find out you've been crushing on them hard for a while. But you can only hide your feelings for so long. If you're avoiding them in anyway or avoiding certain conversations, it may be better to just tell them how you feel.
"Typically, [avoidance] means you’re hiding from something that might trigger you to behave in a revealing way, such as spending time with them one-on-one and mentioning them to certain people in conversation," Edwards says. "When you’re at a point where mentioning them can be uncomfortable in certain situations and is affecting your life, it’s time to just let the truth out."
2. Your dating life is suffering.
Depending on how big of a crush you have, you may find yourself disinterested in other people because you're just that into your crush. If this is the case, "it is time to see if things could actually materialize with your crush," Alessandra Conti, a matchmaker at Matchmakers In The City, tells Elite Daily. "The worst thing is to have a crush for months and miss out on other awesome people who you could be having romantic experiences with and building a relationship with." So, if you feel like you're missing out, and you don't think your crush feels the same about you, tell them how you feel, get it off your chest, and then you can move on knowing you tried.
3. You overanalyze everything.
Overanalyzing things is easy, but seeing things that aren't there or picking apart every little thing for a deeper meaning can be really detrimental to your health. When you're trying to see how someone feels without asking them, or telling them how you feel, you may begin to read into things that you shouldn't. "If you find that you are overanalyzing every text or conversation that you are having with your crush, it's time to let them know that you want to date them instead of just being friends," Conti says.
4. You can't stand them talking about people they're romantically interested in.
Having a crush on a friend can be extra difficult because they probably talk to you the way they would talk to any friend. And while that's totally OK, if you have a crush on them, hearing them talk about someone else they're interested in may hurt or frustrate you. "If your crush is telling you about their dating life, and it is making you jealous or uncomfortable, this is a sign that you should let them know how you feel," Conti states.
5. You think your crush feels the same way.
You can usually tell if someone's feelings for you are romantic or platonic. If your crush happens to be the kind of person you can read well enough to know there may be something there, then that's another sign you should tell them how you feel. "If you notice that the person seems to flirt, touch, and linger to spend time with you beyond just how it seems with other friends, it may be worth the risk to see if there is something there," Stef Safran, matchmaking and dating expert, tells Elite Daily.
6. You just want to.
Honestly, you don't need to notice any of these signs for you to know whether or not you should tell your crush how you feel. If you want to tell them, that's all the reason you need. "It’s that simple," Conti says. "They will either feel the same way, and you can finally start to get to know each other as more than just friends. Or they will tell you that they don't see you in that light, and you can mourn the loss of your would-be relationship, and move on."
If they don't feel the same way, then what?
As much of a bummer as it may be if you tell your crush how you feel and they don't respond the way you hoped, the important thing is that you did it, and now you know how they feel once and for all. "You will feel a major sense of relief that you finally got it off of your chest, and it will be better closure for you, because you will know how they actually feel about you, and you can move on," Conti points out. You're 100 percent allowed to feel sad, let those emotions come, and eventually, you will feel good again. "You have to just shrug it off and be prepared to go back to dating other people," Safran says.
If you're in the same friend-group and you're bound to run into each other, don't worry about it being awkward. Just be yourself and do your best to get things back to normal. "Awkwardness is self-inflicted," Conti states. "Play it off like it's not a big deal, but don't continue to flirt with them or spend unnecessary time with them." In the end, you have to remember you have nothing to be ashamed of. "Your friend will most likely feel flattered that you think so highly of them," she continues, and things will probably be normal eventually. If you notice any of these signs, let your feelings flow, and if your crush isn't romantically interested, someone else will be. Thank u, next.