Crushes are exhilarating: You feel excited, nervous, and terrified all at the same time usually. You want to impress them, you're scared of rejection, and you plainly want to spend time with that person. Gaining enough confidence to talk to them through text or in real life, ask them out, or even just say hi can feel like a mountain to overcome sometimes. You don't want to make the wrong move. If you're worried about how to feel confident around your crush, that is totally understandable.
It can feel stressful trying to figure out the right text to send, let alone even getting to that point at all. You want to show interest, but in the right way, you know? You have feelings for that person, and want to act on it, but may be a little scared about what would happen if you did put yourself out there to only face rejection. I spoke to relationship expert April Masini about things you can do to improve your confidence and exude who you really are that to the person you like. It's not always easy, that's for sure, but you can give these steps small tries to gain some more confidence.
If you start voicing your opinions about minor things, you can get accustomed to standing up for yourself when it really counts. For example, if you want to eat at a specific restaurant, or watch a certain show, speak up about it. It could be useful later on, when you get into a bigger argument or have to make an important decision together.
"You should be able to talk about what you want and what you don’t want," Masini says. "This is different than acting entitled or greedy. It’s being honest. And when you’re not hiding your desires to try and please someone or to try and be who you think they want you to be, you’re showing confidence in yourself and who you are. If you’re with the right person, this will be valued. If you’re with the wrong person, you’ll find by being confident in this way. They will feel uncomfortable, and you’ll be getting a big clue as to compatibility."
Communicating what you like about that person shows immense confidence in yourself. Vocalizing traits about them that you admire, or things that they've done that you appreciate, shows that you're unafraid of being vulnerable. And who doesn't like compliments?
"When you give genuine, unique compliments — that are specific to a person — it not only shows your confidence, it shows your attention to detail of who they are," Masini tells Elite Daily. "'You have beautiful eyes' is nice but banal. 'You really take care of me when we’re in a big party where I don’t know anyone' is more specific and feels more special, more genuine, and as if the compliment giver is more confident."
Masini says that if you feel uncomfortable or lacking in self-confidence when trying to communicate or interact with your crush, check in with yourself about why you feel that way, and adjust accordingly.
"The best way to address a lack of confidence — or discomfort, fear and shame — is to remind yourself that you are more than any one event or relationship or situation. If you take a pie to the face it’s one moment in time. And if you make a mistake, you’re human.
If your confidence is severely hindering you from pursuing the romantic life you want with your crush and you're unable to give yourself the self-confidence you need, Masini suggests you ask for help. Speaking your thoughts through with a therapist or friend could help you gain the confidence you seek to live the romantic life you deserve.
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