We all have that friend. Maybe we are that friend. You know — the kind who just seems to keep getting the short end of the stick when it comes to romance. Maybe you’ve gone on a string of mediocre dates that just never seem to lead anywhere. Or, maybe every time you feel optimistic that you’ve finally found your new bae, they suddenly ghost you. Did you know that some personalities are more prone to being unlucky in love? If you’ve had a string of dating disappointments, you’re probably one of several specific MBTI personality types.
In case you’re unaware, your Myers-Briggs personality type can provide a ton of valuable insight into your love life. Not only can someone’s type indicate how like they are to cheat or to stand you up, but they can also offer guidance on your ideal first date or hints about your biggest turn-ons.
As such, it’s no surprise that if you’re unlucky in love, your personality type can be a factor worth noting. Sure, to a degree, dating is a game of luck — you have to be at the right place at the right time to meet your soul mate. Still, certain personality traits can make it more challenging to find the kind of romantic connection you're looking for. Has your love life been a bit lackluster? Then you could very well be one of these personality types.
This personality type has a bevy of traits that can prove beneficial in regards to dating: INFPs are incredibly empathetic as well as insightful, which makes them phenomenal communicators.
However, they’re also idealists to the core. So, if someone isn’t meeting the specific standards they’ve set or adhered to the storyline they’ve dreamed up, they’ll probably assume that’s not their soulmate — and move on.
In other words, it can be tough to live up to this personality type’s vision of perfection — because they're looking for someone as passionate as they are. Ultimately, INFPs would rather wait it out for the fireworks than stick around for a love that’s barely got a spark.
ENFPs often have a “look before you leap” attitude when it comes to love, diving in head-first into relationships with reckless abandon. Like INFPs, this personality type is super idealistic. And as "The Campaigner" wears their heart on their sleeve, that can make them a little vulnerable from an emotional standpoint. Sometimes, their emotional nature can be intimidating to others in the early stages of dating — who may think they’re a little too much too soon.
Also, ENFPs can be a tad perfectionistic. They’re always showering their partners with little acts of affection and devotion — and if their SOs can’t reciprocate, they’re likely to feel perpetually disappointed.
ENFPs are incredibly magnetic individuals, but their love lives may have some let-downs, primarily when their partners don’t show them the same enthusiasm. Then, they’re often left scratching their heads over what went wrong and obsessing over what they could have done differently, which can sometimes take a toll on their self-esteem, thus making it challenging to bounce back into dating again.
Logicians are super loyal and honest, which obviously makes them stellar significant others — once they’ve dared to pursue relationships, that is. This personality type is a tad reserved and shy, which means it’s often up to the other person to make the first move. INTPs tend to have a fear of rejection, so they’re often more likely to let love pass them by than to go after what they want.
Once they do land that date, INTPs are also prone to analyzing the other person, because everything needs to make perfect sense for them to feel comfortable. That’s not to say that this type can’t find immensely fulfilling relationships — they certainly can. But for an INTP, the reward needs to be well worth the risk in terms of putting their heart on the line.
This type is warm, caring, and responsible — but simply does not have the time to stick around in half-hearted relationships. In fact, they’re quick to move on at the first sign of flakiness or ambivalence. So, it may seem like this type is unlucky in love, but that’s because ESFJs know what they’re looking for, and they won’t settle until they’ve found someone who can provide a real connection and meet their very specific needs. They’re a bit old fashioned when it comes to dating, and if their boo takes a whole day to text back or doesn’t plan thoughtful dates, they won’t hesitate to say farewell.
Consuls tend to have an aversion to criticism and conflict, which can make it difficult to tackle any issues that arise. This personality type also struggles to accept change, which is an inevitable factor in any relationship. These elements can make it challenging for an ESFJ to “roll with the punches” in their love lives.
Let's be clear — just because you happen to have one of these MBTI personality types does not mean your love life is definitely doomed to be a disaster. However, the traits encompassed by these types can pose certain challenges in regards to dating. Ultimately, what it comes down to is that many of these types have a very specific vision of what they're looking for and unless everything lines up just right, they'll probably walk away. And what's so wrong with having high standards? As long as you can find healthy ways to deal with all the disappointments, you'll be able to keep your mind — and heart — open until "The One" finally comes along.
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