It really is true that, in the best relationships, your partner is also your best friend. That's because they are the person you can fully be yourself with, whom you have the best time with, and whom you can confide in and trust the most. That's why so many successful relationships start off as friendships. However, making that transition from friendship to something "more" is not without its challenges. Sometimes, things just evolve naturally, but just as often, it takes effort to move from the friend zone to the, well, bone zone (sorry). Knowing how to go from friends to dating starts with having a good flirt game. It's how you subtly tell them you'd like to change the dynamic of your relationship, while still testing the waters. It's also a position that’s easy to back off of, should you get the message they just want to be friends, without putting the friendship at any real risk.
If you're looking to go from crushing to smashing with a friend, the way you flirt is actually not all that different than how you would with a stranger or someone you're still getting to know. So if you are already comfortable flirting, this should be easy. The one key difference is to take it slow and feel things out before you make any sudden moves. Here are some tips to get you started.
1. Flirt With Confidence
Whether you're flirting with a friend or a total stranger, the most important thing is to do it with confidence. Not only is confidence sexy, but a lack of it can make things unnecessarily awkward, fast.
2. Take Advantage Of Touch Whenever It’s Natural
Touch is a big part of getting your flirt on. Whether it’s brushing their arm, pushing back a lock of hair, or just grabbing their arm when you laugh, making contact takes your flirting to the next level. Just take it easy — no one likes an octopus.
3. Let Your Smiles And Eye Contact Linger
This tip could also just be to “be really present when you talk to them.” Make eye contact when you engage with them and give them a smile that lasts a little bit longer than usual.
4. Save All Your Flirting Just For Them
Have you been told you’re a big flirt? Well, chances are, if you're known to be a flirty gal, when you're flirting with them and you actually mean it, it might not even register for them. So, if there is one person you are actually interested in, focus all that energy on them, so they can sense that your intentions for them are different.
5. Tease Them Gently
We're not talking about "negging" here. That’s a gross practice of subtly insulting someone to lower their self-esteem and increase your odds with them. Gross. Instead, just use some playful banter to make you both laugh. The experience should actually be pleasurable for them.
6. Take It Easy At First
This is key: Don’t go too hard all at once. For one thing, that might make your friend uncomfortable, especially if they aren't feeling the same way. Plus, it’s a lot harder to take things back to normal if they aren't feeling it. You want to make out, not make it weird.
7. Use All The Tools At Your Disposal
Flirting in person is great, but it’s not the only way to start hinting you want something more. Texting is also a good way to get your subtle flirt on. Start easy with a sweet good night text. If they respond with a sweet one back, game on!
8. Don’t Smother Them With Attention
When you're crushing on someone, it’s natural to want to focus all your attention on them all the time, but that can be a little awkward. Instead, try flirting, and then, back off and let the moment be. Give your friend the time and space to reciprocate.
9. Ask Them For Some One-On-One Time
If you're typically spending time with them in a group setting, invite them to do something — just the two of you. If they are feeling you, too, they will jump at the chance.
10. When In Doubt, Be Direct
Have you exhausted all of the subtle flirting techniques, and now, you just want to know what’s up? Well, there's always the direct route: telling them straight up how you feel. It doesn't have to be all grand and dramatic. It can just be something like, "hey, I'm kind of catching feelings here... thoughts?" Just be sure that, before you make any declarations, your'e ready for the possibility that they just want to maintain your relationship as it already is.
OK, so that last one is a little trickier to walk back from, but as you can see, for the most part, these tips are low-risk with the possibility for high reward. Always pay attention to any subtle cues they are giving you — whether it’s the green light for more or the red light to cool it.
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