In most happy, healthy relationships (especially in the early stages) it can be incredibly tempting to want to devote all your time to your partner — and with good reason. You're probably completely smitten by your boo, so wanting to spend every day, every night, and every weekend with them is normal. But then the question becomes: How much time spent with bae is too much? Every day? Every other day? And really, how often should you see your partner on the weekend? The answers to those questions vary depending on the relationship itself, and particularly, what stage of the relationship you're currently in.
In the early stages of a relationship, dating and relationship expert Céline Sauvet recommends you be a social butterfly and "go out with a lot of people during the weekend," she tells Elite Daily. "See friends, have several dates. (You can, you are not exclusive yet!)" And once you and the person you're dating establish exclusivity, although it may be tempting to spend every waking moment together, Sauvet says to continue carving out time for yourself. Even though you may see each other more often on the weekends, that doesn't mean you should spend all and every weekend together.
"Even when you have clear plans for the future together, you still need to have some time for yourself and your partner, too," Sauvet says. "This builds healthy and strong relationships in which you both nurture the couple because you are first nurtured yourself."
If, for whatever reason, your new partner cannot understand why you wouldn't want to spend all your time together — well, that's when communication comes into play. "If your friend-time is very important to you ... talk to your partner about boundaries of time, and see what compromises you can work out," Frank Kermit of FrankTalks.com, author, dating and relationship coach, tells Elite Daily. Sauvet agrees, and states that if your partner can't respect that you want to spend time with your friends, that might be a bad sign. "It is a red flag, and you should know that setting healthy boundaries in a couple should be respected," she says.
If you find yourself wanting to spend as much time with your boo as possible without losing your sense of independence, that makes total sense. To figure out how much time is too much time, Sauvet suggests reconnecting to yourself pre-relationship and asking an important question: "What do you want to experience in your love life with a partner?" Once you're able to answer that, "then accept that this noble quest is one of the highest in life," she says. "So, do not rush. Do not try to over-give. Take your time." Essentially, don't rack your brain for a specific, quantifiable number of hours. Eventually, the right amount of time will develop naturally.
Sauvet reminds us that, "Rome was not built in a day," in which case, a healthy and fulfilling love life cannot be built in a day either. It takes time to establish a well-rounded, healthy, involved yet independent relationship with someone, and that's something both you and your partner have to understand. With each day that goes by in your relationship, you and bae will continue learning more and more about each other, including how much time spent together feels like enough, and how much feels like too much. Spend weekends together, but remember not to lose your sense of self or the friendships you had before this wonderful new person came into your life. "Be and enjoy the present," Sauvet advises. "Live, observe, journal, enjoy."