Here’s What To Do If You’re In Love With Your Best Friend, But First, Don’t Panic
Platonic love and romantic love are two different kinds of love, but sometimes, the line between the two can blur. You probably have a ton of love for your best friend (even when they make you want to scream), but if anything from a flirty text to a late-night hookup triggers that platonic love, and your feelings start morphing into something a little less, well, friendly... it's easy to start panicking. Don't! I spoke to an actual relationship expert to understand what to do if you're in love with your best friend, and, spoiler! It doesn't have to be as scary as you might think.
"First and foremost, be honest with yourself," April Masini, relationship expert, tells Elite Daily. "Many times people who are in love with their best friends waste time and create complications because they don't come to terms with their feelings." When you realize you're in love with your best friend, you may be tempted to push your feelings to the side and tell yourself those feelings won't change anything. And while the mind is an incredibly powerful thing, so is the heart, and the latter may make it a little harder for you to be supportive of your BFF in all the same ways you were before (specifically when it comes to their love life), Masini says.
She warns that when you fall for your best friend, their love life may become a conflict of interest for you because "you want the person to love you back," Masini states. So, it makes it more difficult for you to be able to support them romantically and give them opinions that they can actually benefit from because your feelings may get in the way. "If your friend tells you they have a date, it’s impossible for you to be enthusiastic and supportive about that potential relationship when you’re in love with your friend," she says.
You may also be wondering about, and hoping for, any chance of them potentially feeling the same way and your friendship turning into something more. Don't get me wrong, finding it in yourself to approach your BFF about your feelings when you have no idea where they stand can be really scary. But according to Masini, "it’s important to be honest and take that risk."
If you choose to take that leap and tell your best friend how you feel about them, it can be important to understand that if they don't feel the same, things between you may feel a little off for a bit. "The reason is that it's very tough to be honest in a friendship with someone you've got romantic feelings for," Masini states. "Those feelings don’t just go away. So if you’ve been rejected, accept the outcome of the risk, and allow some distance in the relationship as it finds its [new] footing, naturally."
But, on the flip side, if your feelings are reciprocated, then you might be on the verge of the kind of relationship with them that you really want. The outcome can be so worth the risk, it's just up to you to decide if you want to take it.
Even though approaching your best friend about your feelings for them may seem scary AF, it doesn't have to be. "When you decide not to pursue your feelings because you fear rejection, you're missing out on life," Masini says. "If you don’t go up to bat because you fear striking out, you lose the opportunity to hit a home run." So, try not to let fear of rejection or loss keep you from taking that leap. While, yes, it can be scary, telling your BFF about your feelings may be the best decision of your life, and make you happier than ever would've thought possible.