This Is What Avoiding Conflict Can Do To Your Relationship, Experts Say

by Korey Lane
Originally Published: 

It's safe to say no one really likes fighting with their partner. No matter how it starts, an argument, fight, or any kind of conflict between you and your partner can be so stressful. It's only natural to want to avoid these situations, but honestly, what avoiding conflict can do to your relationship is more detrimental than confronting it head-on. Even though it might seem easier to brush things aside, experts agree that it's not always the best idea.

Avoiding conflict is way more common than you might think, but the reasons why can be different for everyone. "People may also be concerned that they could lose the other person, so they instead try to keep the peace," breakup BOOST podcast host, Trina Leckie, tells Elite Daily. "Some people just don’t know how to deal with it or how to address certain issues. Some people don’t know how to compromise or problem solve." Whatever the reason, there's no denying the fact that when you shy away from conflict, you aren't exactly doing your relationship any favors. According to Leckie, "communication is crucial for a healthy relationship. You won’t get very far if you can’t deal with conflict."


When you and your partner simply choose not to talk things out, that conflict has the potential to simmer and resurface later on, often atop another conflict. "Things may come to a head and the emotional 'volcano eruption' that might happen might cause more damage than being honest and vulnerable in the first place," relationship counselor and clinical sexologist, Dr. Martha Tara Lee of Eroso Coaching, tells Elite Daily. If you've ever dealt with a "volcano eruption," then you know just how miserable these fights can feel. It's like a never-ending waterfall of anger and resentment — something that can be avoided by being open and honest in the moment.

Additionally, if you and your significant other don't deal with the issues you're facing, it can deter you from growing closer. "It can prevent your relationship from progressing, because dealing with conflict can actually make you stronger as a couple," Leckie adds. Really, no relationship is perfect, and it's rare to find a couple that has never dealt with any sort of conflict. "It's impossible for two different people to see eye-to-eye on everything," dating and relationships expert Anita A. Chlipala tells Elite Daily. "You have to talk with each other to make sure what you need is being honored by the other. Also, miscommunication and misperceptions are common, so it's important to check things out with your partner before your relationship gets engulfed in negativity."

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Experts agree that communication is crucial in any relationship. But, getting to a point where you feel comfortable expressing your issues to your partner can feel intimidating. In order to help you and your partner feel more comfortable facing conflict head-on, "you can start by recognizing that not all conflict is bad, and not all conflict will lead to bad consequences," Lee says. Remember that your partner is just that: your partner. Dealing with conflict isn't easy, but as the experts say, it has the potential to bring you closer.

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