You might have heard that college is a time for staying single, playing the field, and not committing to a relationship unless you're seriously in love. Even To All The Boys I Loved Before's Margot Covey vowed to dump her beloved BF Josh "Bon Iver Wannabe" Sanderson so she could go off to school single. But it's not like college is a romantic wasteland where relationships go to die — it's definitely possible to date someone seriously while juggling classes and parties. So can freshman fall hookups last all year?
The answer? It depends.
Not everyone who's making out or having sex is doing it just for the benefits of having a warm body next to them. Some people in college do actually want a relationship, and it's certainly not impossible to find one, not even during your freshman year.
I sought answers from experts who can offer signs that your hookup is looking for more than something casual. Here are the signs you should watch out for when interacting with your freshman fall fling.
Adam LoDolce, founder of dating website Sexy Confidence, says that if your hookup wants to see you during the day, that could be an indication they want a relationship with you. John Keegan, dating coach and relationship expert, also thinks that this would point to your hookup buddy possibly wanting you two to turn into something more long-term.
"If they are asking you to do things besides party or meet up after midnight that’s a good sign," Keegan tells Elite Daily. "They may even suggest studying together or going for a hike, movie, [or] bookstore. Focusing more on daytime activities will show that they’re looking for more than a hookup."
While shooting off an easy, "u up?" text is doable and gets the job done for people looking for a quick hookup, if the person you're having sex with routinely opts for more intimate ways of communication, like calling you, it could be a sign they actually like you, says LoDolce. Other ways they could show this is by video chatting, texting you for hours, or send you Snaps throughout the day, just 'cause.
Additionally, if they're sharing deeper thoughts with you, they could definitely be thinking of having you in their life for some time. Keegan says if "they are sharing things with you from their past that are meaningful," that's definitely a sign they like having you around.
If you two are hooking up on the regular, and they say they're actually looking for a real relationship, well that's a huge sign right there, says LoDolce.
But if your fling turns out just to be a fling, you're allowed to be upset if you developed deeper feelings for that person. Or, if you both decide that a fling is what you want, that's OK, too. And it could still "mean" something, says Keegan.
"It’s important to know [that] you can forge real meaningful and deep relationships that are long lasting that don’t have to be exclusive," Keegan says. "All of your relationships can be meaningful, it’s not all or none! It’s also healthy to have flings as long as each of you treat each other with respect and understanding."
No matter how your freshman fall fling ends up, enjoy the moment — the magic of the first few months of college only happens once in a lifetime.
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